THEM: Do you want to watch “Badlands?”
ME: No, “Prom Night” is out!

My recent favorite: “The Strangers.” The last time I screamed like that in a movie theatre was shortly after the Regal Cinemas manager refused to refund the money I spent on “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.”

2. Ice Cream – Speaking from experience, it is possible to live for at least 3 months on nothing but Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. (No guarantee on the sustaining power of their other flavors.)

3. School Supplies – The guilty part is I buy them because they make me feel organized. I don’t actually use them to be organized. In reality, all school supplies do for me is cost money and take up space. Oh, well, they do smell good. If school supplies were perfumes they’d come in scents like “professionalism” and “potential.” Or “abundantly adequate” if we’re talking about the cheap econo-packs of Bic pens.

4. Staying Up Late – My most creative hours are the wee small ones. Partly because it’s quiet, but mainly because no one’s around. I’m too self-conscious to write around people, even people I know. It’s like wearing a skirt without underoos. I can’t enjoy the freedom because I’m too afraid somebody will see something.

5. Listening To An Entire Conversation Somebody Sitting Near Me In A Restaurant Is Having And Then Mocking Them Until They Get Up And Leave –
This one sounds much worse than it is.
A) I don’t eavesdrop on the entire conversation if the first tidbit I accidently overheard isn’t stupid enough to warrant mocking
B) The people get up and leave because they’re done eating, not because I offended them. I only mock loud enough for the person sitting directly across from me to hear.

2. I must list books, as well. Reading for pleasure is a luxury. Even so, I try to do it every day, even if I only get through 10 pages of a book. I always feel a little guilty, because I there’s always something else I should probably do instead. More specifically, Bridget Jones’ Diary and Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason are guilty pleasure books I enjoy. I find them WAY more hysterical than is warranted, most likely because I share the same tendency Bridget has to detach from reality and be distracted by ridiculous emotional fantasies.

3. Having packages delivered to me. For some reason I can’t name, I feel like I’m getting away with something here. Maybe it is like getting an undeserved or unexpected present…

4. Massages. I would pay someone to rub my back for an hour every day if I had the money. I only get a massage about once a year, but I always feel a little guilty for not spending the money on something more obviously practical, or at least charitable.

5. Whole milk. Every other milk is just white water by comparison. Despite numerous attempts to convert to 2% and soy, whole milk is all I care for. I have converted to organic whole milk, though it remains as fatty as the old hormone-laden whole milk.

2. Tiramisu from Whole Foods – this stuff is completely not on my diet (allergic to wheat), but I can’t help myself from purchasing (and consuming) one of the single serve containers any time I’m in the store.

3. Books – Romance, Fiction, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Cookbooks, you name it. I realized just how many books I have when I signed up for LibraryThing and could come up with 200 off the top of my head that are actually in my apartment – and that wasn’t all of them. I physically have bad reactions when I try to shrink my collection.

4. Celebrity Gossip…there is no end to my shame….

5. Netflix – so I can watch all those cheesy, made for tv movies in the comfort of my own home.

1. Reality TV – Enjoy pretty much any show and typically catch the re-runs. I think I enjoy them so much is for selfish reasons. They make me feel better about myself and where I am in my life. We all enjoy watching a train wreck and there’s no doubt that “Rock of Love”, “Making the Band”, “Celebrity Circus”, “I Love New York”, etc. are just filled with personal train wrecks for all the contestants involved.

2. College Football Recruiting – “Hello, my name is Billy and I am a recruiting addict.” I can think of very few things I do every day other than bodily functions, eat, talk to my wife, etc. But no matter where I am I will seek out a computer and check BamaOnline for the latest on Alabama sports and football recruiting. I will even spend time after National Signing Day in February statistically breaking down the class for the University and how it ranks and trends compared to former classes of other major universities.

3. Sweet Tea & Coke – I cannot think of a day in my adult life where I have not had sweet tea. I refuse to move out of the South due to the lack of these items in other parts of the country. Using sugar in alreay iced tea is not the same. Trying to push Pepsi over as the same as Coke is oppressive. Yankee water could never and will never replace Coke. Think about it. Do you ask for a rum & Pepsi or a Jack & Pepsi? I think not.

4. Pork Ribs – There is no better food out there than slow smoked pork ribs with a sweet ketchup based barbeque sauce. Take the time to remove the fascia film covering the meat. Rub down with Lowry’s, cracked black pepper, and dark brown sugar. Smoke for about 4-5 hours with hickory and apple wood. The meat should fall off the bone and melts in your mouth. It is Heaven on Earth. I realize this addiction to pork may be offensive to some but I truly cannot understand the bastardization of pork by some. I understand its genesis hundreds of years ago when, due to the lack of adequate refridgeration, bad pork could kill you. But in modern society you have no reason not to eat port. You don’t know what you’re missing.

5. South Park – I think I have seen or own pretty much every episode of the past 12 seasons. It is hands down the best social commentary and satire. The best thing about it is there is always a message.

2. Romance novels – someone else already said it and I have to back up what they stated. It is pure escapism. I think the reason why I like them so much is that I am a fan of a happy endings. I read all sorts of genres, but I still prefer a happy ending. Life is certainly not always about pleasant outcomes, but romance novels are. It’s kind of a catch 22 because I like reading about them, but they make sad because I don’t have my own happy ending.

3. The Two Coreys – it’s back on A&E. The first season was very staged, but for some reason I really enjoyed it. There is a little more angst in season 2, but it is still entertaining. It is a really great look at what will happen to Lindsay and Britney. Can you picture the show in ten years? “Brit and Linds: 2gether4ever.

4. Strife in other people’s lives – This is a true guilty pleasure. I’m not sure if it is “pleasure” per se. When my life sucks, it is just nice to see that other people aren’t perfect either. I don’t want others to suffer, but I still derive some sort of satisfaction from it. Makes me a great person, huh?

5. Being contrary – I like to argue for the sake of arguing. Sometimes I will take an opposite position from what I truly feel. I get a little thrill just being difficult. Boy, these last two reveal my awesome personality…

2. ABBA – I may be all punk rock, ever since the 7th grade, but I love ABBA. I love ABBA so much, I bought the A*Teens CD The ABBA Generation because the entire album consists of techno remakes of classic ABBA songs, and let me just say, it is amazing.

3. Degrassi – It’s such a good show, but no matter what, whenever I tell someone I watch and actually enjoy the show, they always ends up making fun of me. Plus, Jake Epstein (who plays Craig Manning) is HOT. Oh, and I’m watching a Degrassi marathon right now, too.

4. Eating “old lady” cereal – Frosted Mini Wheats, Special K, Honey Bunches of Oats, Raisin Bran Crunch…I do like kid cereal classics like Fruity Pebbles and Lucky Charms, but nothing beats old lady cereal. But with 2% milk. I don’t do that nasty, skim milk crap.

5. icanhascheezburger.com – I visit the site EVERY SINGLE DAY to read the new LOLcat pictures. I crack up at the computer every time I read them to myself. It’s the most embarrassing thing to admit to.

2. Reality TV. I watch pretty much all of it from Flavor of Love to Hell’s Kitchen

3. Karaoke. I absolutely love it, I have my own machine, and over 50 cds.

4.Watching Wrestling. I still am a fan of the WWF (now WWE), ECW, and TNA. It is awesome entertainment.

5. Reading Gossip Blogs. That is how I get my mind to work

2. Pop music – I love the crap, , rock pop, dance pop, rap pop d all of the above! You can mock me all you want but I will still rock out in my car to Justin Timberlake particularly since the mental image of him dancing isn’t a bad one either!

3. Gossip – Celebrity or regular people. I listen to it, I spread it, I can’t wait to hear more of it. Is it embarrassing that I know more about pop culture than world news, yes. But that’s why it’s a guilty pleasure.

4. Shoes – As a woman it is my divine right to own more shoes than I will ever need or be able to wear. It is also my divine right to buy shoes that are beautiful but so uncomfortable that I have to plan my night around them. And just because I am 5′11″ does not mean that I will not wear heels. If you can’t deal with me at 6′3″ you probably still won’t like me in bare feet.

5. Eating food straight out of the container – be it ice cream or cereal it’s more fun that way.

2. OK, the second kinda relates to the first. One Tree Hill. I must watch One Tree Hill. If I’m not home, it better be recorded and the first minute I get home I have to watch. And I’m guilty of checking websites for spoilers…I have even been to Wilmington, North Carolina on vacation to check out filming spots, both the studios and the real-life spots. No, I didn’t stalk the actors, although I did run into one of the TV character moms at the mall one afternoon.

3. Dr. Pepper…wow, I love this drink. I’ve tried for years to stop drinking soda. It never works…I am definitely addicted to this tasty beverage.

4. Trips home to Birmingham…my being in Memphis for school has really made me appreciate Birmingham, especially my family and friends that live there. I neglect being “perfect” on school work and participating in extracurricular activities at school so I can protect my time and go home. Even as gas continues to creep towards $4 a gallon, I still travel home about every 3 weeks.

5. Music…I spend way too much money on music, especially now that I do not have a real-world salary. I would rather not have a Dr. Pepper in order to download a couple of new songs from iTunes. I express myself through song lyrics, and I appreciate the value of good lyrics even if the music is not the best.