Memorable dances.

Robot battle dancing is my chosen profession, but surprisingly there isn’t lots of money on the circuit right now. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were initially interested until they realized there weren’t actually any robots involved. Check out my styles:

1. Prom – My prom experience was an unfortunate series of events piled one on top of another. Part of it was my fault for not going with the right people and the rest of it was also my fault for going with the totally wrong person. Lots of fun was not had and to this day I am resentful. Most of the evening saw me sitting at a table with random friends coming an going mostly to laugh at me. Somehow I managed to avoid dancing all night until the DJ played a slow song. My train wreck of a date said that she would really appreciate if I danced with her so I did. I didn’t mind since almost every other couple was out there dancing too. During that entire song all I could think about was how much I wished I was there with a different girl. That’s not even the part where things got uncomfortable. It reached that point when that song ended and another slow song came on. Most everyone left the dance floor except for a handful of couples once this happened. Yep, we were one of those couples. I just remember that being the longest dance in the history of the world.
2. Casanova – My older sister has always had an interest in dance. Growing up she took various dance classes and was in dance clubs in school. This love spilled over into her everyday life by choreographing her two little brothers every chance she got. One of these sessions involved two sisters who were family friends and we danced to the Levert song “Casanova.” Nothing about it was fancy, but my mom loved it, we had fun preparing it, and I got to be Casanova. ROCK!
3. Sexyback – Am I recycling an answer? Yes. Get over it and read number five. Again.
4. Chad and Sarah’s Wedding – Last month one of my best friends got married and he chose to include me on their special day by letting me be one of the two groomsmen along with Potter, another college best friend. The three of us tend to have a good time when we get together and we decided to start Chad’s marriage off right. By trying to drink our weight in alcohol. Before the wedding we did a celebratory shot (don’t worry, Chad’s was literally a splash) to let him know how happy we were to be there to support him. Two shots we took while he was in the shower were purely for our enjoyment only. Someone had the foresight to order a limo for the transport of the wedding party and family to the beach location and then on to the reception. Lucky for us the limo had an open bar which was both good and bad. It was good because we could drink to our heart’s content on the way over, yet bad because it was only a two mile ride. This meant we had to drink our drinks awfully quick. Since, for some inexplicable reason, Chad didn’t want to get drunk, he again only received a splash of vodka in his screwdriver while Potter and I slammed down at least four ounces each in ours. It should be noted that we were the first ones to get picked up, and everyone else that noticed the three glasses and automatically knew who they belonged to. The actual ceremony went off without a hitch and we actually behaved ourselves (which was a surprise to Chad) other than my making a face when the minister mentioned the word sober. Members of the wedding party rode to the reception with the groom’s parents once we were done with our pictures. Potter decided it would be best if we all took shots of bourbon, but I decided it was go time for me and filled an entire glass with vodka. Now I do realize this unmarked liquor was probably a bottle of the stuff we found 1.75 liters for $8.95, but it didn’t make a bit of difference. Like I said, it was go time. That six or so ounces went down in about five minutes then I poured myself somewhere in the neighborhood of four more ounces that was fully ingested right as we arrived to the reception. Things from here tend to run together a little so please forgive the lack of detail, but I remember obtaining a beer from the bar, being handed an Irish Car Bomb, and getting a second beer all before I was to give my toast (which we had champagne for). Some of you are probably wondering “What in the world does this have to do with you dancing you big jerk?” Well, dear reader, it’s setting up the scenario. As the first round of toasts wrapped up with one of the bests toasts in the history of weddings made by yours truly (you should have been there then you’d know I’m actually being modest) I could let loose with no more public speaking requirements. Some way or another the DJ started playing a song I thought we should dance to, so I corralled the bridesmaids and the other groomsman onto the dance floor where we threw down. All of us went nuts and had a great time being silly and celebrating.
   Pictures like this are being taken and everyone is watching until the DJ fades out the song a bit early and politely informs us that we haven’t gotten to the dance portion of the evening yet. What? Then why are you playing music? Apparently the bride and groom were supposed to do all of their dances first. Oops. Next time they’ll know not to invite someone who has rhythm (read alcohol) running through his veins like I did that day.
5. Josh and Liz’s Wedding – Another wedding of one of my closest friends where I was in the wedding party. More than my fair share of libations were enjoyed and this led to some interesting dancing on my part. Emily and I did some swing dancing (even though I had never done it up to that point, and haven’t done it since), I danced with Dillon’s wife Karen (as seen below),
   I dirty danced with Justin’s mom to the point where he exclaimed “Dude, that’s my mom,” and finally had an interesting dance with the bride when most of the older guests had left.
   What’s the moral of this story? Invite me to your wedding otherwise I’ll crash it and act even worse.

List 5 memorable dances.

Tags: Dance, Drunk, Irish Car Bomb, Prom, Sexyback, Wedding