When you grow up watching cartoons, reading comic books, and seeing movies where the main character has super powers you tend to think about which ones you would want. Do you remember seeing the x-ray vision glasses that were sold on the back of comics? Those pieces of shit weren’t worth the shipping they cost to send them. Why weren’t they sued for false advertising? I was depending on them to help me see girls underwear on the playground. Finally realizing that you will never have the ability to run faster than a speeding locomotive may prove devastating to your young 22 year-old self. Let’s just say I held onto that dream longer than I should have. After looking over the list it occurred to me I’d most likely be a super villain rather than a super hero. Then again, super villain might be a bit harsh. It’s not like I’d try to take over the world, just the local bowling alley. Super prankster. Now there is a more apt description. Here are some more of my top superpowers:
- Ability to stop time – Think of how productive you could be if you never had to sleep. This would enable you to stop time, get as much sleep as you wanted, and then start it back while having no actual time elapse. Additionally you could cause all kinds of chaos in the lives of people you don’t particularly care for. It would be pretty sweet to convince an enemy they were losing their mind by making their breakfast disappear everyday.
- Teleport – Airports are not fun places to spend downtime and it seems as if there always is some when I fly. Due to high gas prices, higher flying costs, and the fact that travel takes all day teleportation would make life a whole lot easier. One hour commute to work? Not anymore. Plus it would be less of a burden when going on a trip. You could take toiletries larger than the travel sizes, which would be a welcome change.
- Lasers from my eyes – I would never be locked out of anything, could boil water lots faster, and win lots of bar bets. “If I can move that glass on the other end of the bar from here without using my hands you pick up my tab.” Like shooting fish in a barrel.
- A ring that could turn into anything I wanted – Those of you unfamiliar with the Green Lantern this is the super power he possesses. Other than that he is a pretty normal guy, but that is a pretty big other. Energy rings don’t grow on trees, because if they did I would be lounging around with my ring/green girlfriend.
- X-Ray vision – A guy can dream can’t he?
List 5 Super powers you wish you had.