Recently, when searching for a theme song to put on my friend’s blog, I came across some interesting videos. 30 minutes of 80’s cartoon openings, 30 minutes of 90’s cartoon openings, and Top 10 cartoon theme songs from the 80’s. If you were born in the late 70’s to early 80’s and have an hour and ten minutes to kill, you should really watch them all the way through. All but a handful of the 80’s cartoons I remember, but I wasn’t as good with the 90’s stuff. Possibly because I only watched cartoons up until the early part of that decade, but boy did I ever enjoy them. It’s one of those things where you never know how much something shaped your life until you look back and reminisce about it. There were cartoons (and subsequently toys that went with them) I saw that were long ago forgotten, yet I nearly wet my pants with excitement watching their intro. Some of you may be thinking “Well I can just look at lots of that stuff on Retro Junk,” but being surprised by what’s coming next is, and I’m quoting Michaelangelo the Ninja Turtle here, “Radi-cool!” Things I learned by watching these vids:
- The future is not a very pleasant place – What the hell? Why are there all of these natural disasters that wipe out the entire population, make mankind morph into some sub-human beings, or we will need to be protected by some sort of giant robot (or team of robots) from some evil group? Do these animators know something about global warming we don’t know and they just aren’t telling? It all seems a tad bit ominous for my adult self, but maybe this is why so much of our generation is pessimistic. Oh, and another thing. Why are there little to no minorities in the future. I mean there are a couple of Native Americans and a few Blacks, but that’s about it. No Latinos? Are you kidding me? That I find hard to believe.
- Plots are utterly ridiculous – Watch an episode of any random cartoon. Does it make sense? If so you should probably take another dose of your anti-hallucinogen or another toke/bump/freebase from your stash because that’s the only way they are plausible.
- Disney cartoons used to be my life – Reciting the theme songs of four cartoons you haven’t seen in over 10 years without missing a single word would be cause for concern for some, but not me. For me it is a source of pride. Saturday mornings I would wake up extra early to see what new adventures the Gummi Bears would get into. Then during the week I couldn’t get home from school fast enough to tune into Duck Tales, Chip ‘n’ Dale’s Rescue Rangers, and Tale Spin (my favorite). New school shows like the Goof Troop and Darkwing Duck never garnered my attention like the others did. The only thing that rivaled my love for these shows was my love for Saved By The Bell. Kelly Kapowski is H-O-T Hawt!
- This show looks like something I have seen before – She Ra is He Man’s twin sister, they both have castles, they both have swords, they both have morphing animals, they both share their secret identities with only three others (inexplicably not their twin sibling), and both have creepy ghost like creatures as friends. So let me see if I get this right Mr. Executive Producer, you took the entire Masters of the Universe cartoon, slapped a female lead on it, and expected nobody to notice? While I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, I’m not as dumb as you look. Other noticeable copies include the GoBots with the Transformers, Ghostbusters with The Real Ghostbusters, and a bunch of crappy ripoffs (I’m looking at you Mighty Morphin Power Rangers) with Voltron.
- Nickelodeon had really good children’s programming – Yeah, I know. Nickelodeon is a kids channel and it should have good programming for that age group but, again, it’s one of those things that you don’t notice until you are far removed from the situation. Live action shows like Today’s Special and Pinwheel were reason enough to watch, but when you throw in gems like Count Duckula, Bananaman, and Danger Mouse I would watch that lineup now. It’s better than most of the programming on television for adults nowadays. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t include the most wonderful cartoon I have ever seen in my life. The Mysterious Cities of Gold is set in the 16th century and is about a boy who traverses the Atlantic Ocean in search of the Americas. Along the way you accompany him as he makes new friends, tries to outwit his enemies, and searches for El Dorado – the mysterious city of gold. Not only was it entertaining, it was also educational. At the end of each show there was a segment documenting real life South America. The Mysterious Cities of Gold makes my top 5 shows of all time and stands the test of time unlike my then favorite G.I. Joe. Not to mention the show had a bitchin’ theme song.
My list was limited to cartoons, but only because they were the shows I had the most interesting facts about. There were lots of interesting shows I didn’t even touch on. Like Batman: The Animated Series (ca. 1992-1995) which I loved, and The Superman: The Animated Series, which I didn’t care for as much, even though they were made by the same people. I am looking forward to seeing some of these treasures adapted into movie franchises, but I am hoping they go the way of Transformers as opposed to the Matthew Broderick Inspector Gadget route. Mine was focused solely on cartoons, yours doesn’t have to be when you List 5 interesting facts about TV shows you watched as a child.
Tags: Bananaman, Cartoons, Count Duckula, Danger Mouse, Disney, Duck Tales, G.I. Joe, Gummi Bears, He Man, Mysterious Cities of Gold, Nickelodeon, Rescue Rangers, Saved by The Bell, She Ra, Tale Spin

August 19, 2008 at 12:07 am
1) Hong Kong Phooey was voiced by Scatman Crothers. Who knew? It never occurred to me. I loved that show. It began in the fall of 1974, when I was in the 4th grade. I can’t imagine why now, but I loved it.
2) I was a Bugs Bunny man. What’s Opera Doc? and the Rabbit of Seville were my favorites. I think that this was likely my first fascination with smart asses.
3) Sam and Ralph, the Sheepdog & Coyote, who clocked in, fought all day, and then clocked out, no hard feelings. I always saw Sam the Sheepdog as a role model. He never seemed to be trying hard, but was always in the right place and meted out justice ruthlessly, with no hard feelings.
4) Starsky and Hutch. The car, the 70’s cop action. I knew I could be Starsky. I even wrote a short story/book, called Berezo and Ray, that was a paen to my cathode ray heroes.
5) Sanford & Son/Chico and the Man – these two came on NBC weekday mornings and I’d watch them during the summer.
There are so many more, I was a TV junkie, like Happy Days, Andy Griffith (only B&W with Barney) and the Rockford Files. Oh and Superstars during the football off-season, that show was awesome.
August 19, 2008 at 4:26 pm
1.) The Smurfs. I never found that I enjoyed the Smurfs, yet I feel like it was on 24 hours a day. Something of note: the Smurfs are said to be three apples high. This is a very bizarre scale if you ask me. This means a smurf, perhaps Hefty, could weigh upwards of 10 pounds. I don’t know about you, but that would freak me the hell out if I came across it in the forest. Secondly, it makes Gargamel effectively a midget. I mean he’s not that much taller than the Smurfs. Thirdly, Azriel the cat would be fucking huge. Lastly, has anyone ever, I mean even in the Amazonian jungle, discovered a mushroom that would have multiple floors for a three apple high thing to live in?
2.) Transformers. Okay, a couple of things: The robots can fly – why ever transform into a Jet. The bad guys always transform into the vehicle with way more firepower (something like a tank) while the good guys transform into a Volkswagon Beetle. And lastly, the baddest bad guy, Megatron, transforms into a giant gun that requires another transformer to fire. Does this strike anybody else as a stupid thing to transform into?
3.) G.I. Joe. Scarlett and Lady J formed every like and dislike I have about women. And when thety were all searching for the glowing energy cubes, did anybody find it strange that they looked exactly like the energy cubes that the aforementioned Transformers were looking for?
4.) Animanics, noted without comment.
5.) Garfield and Friends. Made me want to kill myself.
August 19, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Majority of my kid TV experience was in the 80s and some 90s. I do remember loving to watch reruns of the 70s shows during the day with my mom. A typical day was ‘I Dream of Jeannie’, ‘Bewitched’, ‘Batman’ the TV show, ‘Andy Griffith’, All My Children’, ‘As the World Turns’, and so on. In looking back on all the TV here’s what stands out the most.
1. Knowing is 1/2 the Battle – Famous line from the G.I. Joe cartoon. The cartoon was great in an of itself but each show ended with a Public Service Announcement-like message. You know the typical stuff. Don’t play with power lines. Don’t talk to strangers. Etc. I still use the line today when someone states “Well now I know.” I usually respond “And knowing is 1/2 the battle”. Now I don’t know what the other 1/2 of the battle is and if it’s like Yogi Beara’s “the game is 90% mental and the other 1/2 is physical” where does the knowing 1/2 fit in. Is the other 1/2 physical, mental, or are you on your own for the other 1/2 and does the other 1/2 just simply take into account ranom events and stupidity. For instance I know not to touch power lines, but what if one falls on my head and I have no control over the situation. Is that the other 1/2 G.I. Joe was talking about? Or, is the other 1/2 just built in error to take into account Survival of the Fittest in the event some dumbass is actually stupid enough to say to themselves, “Oooh pretty lights, let me go touch the power line”. Who knows. But knowing is at least 1/2 the battle. There are tons of these and even some funny parodies out there. Here are a select few examples of how G.I made the world a safer place.
a. Quick Kick loves a plan – He must be Type A OCD like me. I once had someone tell me and I quote, “We don’t need a plan. Plans just confuse people.” To which I responed, “Well, that’s one way to do it.” (For futher explanation see Favorite Sayings.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4W9WDZwDo-w&feature=related
b. Mutt informs us never to pet Hood dawgs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asi64K6MZy4&feature=related
c. Barbeque teaches us to not let out poisonous gases
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF-nlecf1Fg&feature=related
d. Spirit teaches us to roll on the ground in a blanket with an Indian if we catch on fire – Sorry but if I’m this close to a stream when my sleeve catches on fire I’m making a run for it. Plus if I’m camping and an Indian (Feather not Dot) jumps out of the woods I think the piss in my pants may go ahead and put out the fire anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAJk5hOjgD0&feature=related
e. Deep Six teaches us not to swim in a storm – I think this PSA has deeper undertones that God won’t like it if two boys are frolicking in a pond. So don’t same sex bath or God will smoke you. Remember boys and girls. Lightning, its electrifying (So you better shape up cause I need a man.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3OEhoaKqVk&feature=related
f. Scarlett teaches us to never give up – She is truly an inspiration to us all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfyZCucCauQ&feature=related
g. Wild Bill tells us not to take advice or listen to strangers (especially when the are in all Green) – Kind of ironic that we shouldn’t listen to strangers and the intent of the entire G.I. Joe PSA propaganda is taking advice from strangers. Hum?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rs7oXeCZ3Es&feature=related
Sorry but here are a few more things I learned from my early TV addiction.
2. Alien Life Forms (ALF) and I have something in common – ALF was a pretty good show and throughout history it’s been proven that everyone likes a smart ass alien (See Mork & Mindy, Out of this World, 3rd Rock from the Sun, etc.). The coolest thing was his desire to rid the world of cats. Something him and I share. Now I’m not going to eat the cat, but I wouldn’t be upset if they began to disappear. Sorry, but I’m just not a cat person. Give me a stupid, loving dog any day over a cat. Cats are not pets. In some ways they are intellectual equals who I feel are always trying to plot a way to take over the Earth and kill us in our sleep. I don’t need a rival as a pet. I just want something that every time a I see it every day it gets so excited it pees itself. That’s love. Here are some funny ALF bloopers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw_6A5EMxNg&feature=related
3. The people you least suspect always have a drinking/drug problem. – I think this was just a fall back for most writers during the 80s and even into today. The favorited Uncle on Family Ties (Tom Hanks), Jessie on Saved by the Bell (studying is stressful), I think Carol got drunk in one episode of Growing Pains, Tootie had older brother drunk driving issues, and Vanessa & the drinking game on the Cosby show. Who knew that teenagers liked to sneak drinks and do stupid things. Thanks TV for letting me know this at early age so that I now know not to be ashamed of my need to experiment.
a. Tootie’s isues – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSAGA14jizo
b. Vanessa’s drinking problem – I would dring too if my skin was two-tone and I always had to wear long sleeves. This is when I wished I grew up in an all Black household. For some reason I don’t see my mom and dad being so forgiveful and willing to teach me a lesson.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePJhK0zchS4
c. Tom Hanks needs to put down the booze and get a job (Preferably not with public TV)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylGC3WTzF8E
d. Jessie’s testing issues – I need them and I’m so excited. This performance should have been foreshadowing to what we were to expect with Showgirls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljtuGoIIKGs
4. All it takes is one woman to sustain a civilization – I was a big Smurfs fan but this one always threw me for a loop. How could one girl smurf, Smurfette, sustain the entire Smurf clan? Also, how come none of the Smurfs had genetically related problems from the incessant inbreeding. I mean we know Smurfette had no sexually linked recessive genetic disorders or all the guys would have been screwed. The Smurf ovulation cycle must have been once a week to produce that many eggs and gestation must be extremely short. I know she was a wonderful woman but this puts her on a level well above Kate and Michelle Duggar. They are nothing but a bunch of amateurs compared to Smurfette.
5. Black/African American people could be in the show but only at a 1:5 or 1:6ratio – I know the use of Black versus African American is a touchy subject but I think we tip toe around it to make the situation uncomfortable. Deep down I believe when strickly talking about our outer appearance it is a “black & white” issue. People are people. And as ya’ll know by now I divide the masses by stupidity and not color. I have no problem being called pasty white. I am. Therfore I tend to lean on the advice on all the little ones who simply tell you like it is, “He/she is black/white/tan/red/purple/etc.”. Sorry to digress but you can see I’ve been raised in a generation where you always have to explain yourself because people are sensitive and you don’t want to hurt feelings. Like Fight Club predicted, we have all become a bunch of puds.
My 80s and early 90s TV needed minorities as comic relief. We were trying to make an effort so we just needed to throw somebody in. Typically used as comic relief, Alfonso Ribiero was used twice as we were recylcing and did not even know it(Silver Spoon & Fresh Prince). We needed big, sassy black women to keep our snot nose white kids in line (thanks Nell). We eventually dislike each other, but in the perfect TV world learn to love one another as long as we stay in a safe 1:5 ratio. BA Barracus was our tough guy we could relate to because he was a pud when it came to flying. Erkel & Carlton essentially played the white guy in the all black family sitcom (hence the masses could relate). And everyone loves it when the loving white family adopts the poor black chillun’. Unfortunately the white family’s were sold a bad bill of goods because little did they know it wasn’t young black boys they adopted. Instead it was black midgets. We all loved watching the everyday struggles of the black family in America. But, like in true life, we’d rather watch someone like the Cosby’s (more middle class issues, comedy, and still coming on today) versus Good Time (stugglin’ and survivin’, true life issues, comes on every once in a while).
I leave you with one of the greatest TV songs of all time.
August 20, 2008 at 11:08 am
I’ll do a response on the blog this evening, when I can watch the vids… But let me say that the Cities of Gold was my joint… I thought I was the only person on Earth who remembered that show. But I should have known you’d remember Roach. LOL
Then you talked about Pinwheel and Today’s Special… Two more of my favorite childhood shows. My TV stuck on Nickelodeon from probably 8 am until about 2 pm every day during the summer months. Oh, and how about “You can’t do that on Television…”
August 28, 2008 at 9:17 am
The Mysterious Cities of Gold is amazing! I loved that show as a kid and love it even more now. I can’t wait until the DVD release in the states, which should be sometime either later this year or next year.
August 29, 2008 at 6:56 am
Because I spend the afternoons usually home by myself, I’ve been watching those instantly viewable movies and tv shows on NetFlix. I just watched the entire first season of Charles in Charge (1984-1990). Naturally, I have to go to IMDB and look it up (because I’m slightly neurotic), so here are 5 interesting facts I’ve discovered about Charles in Charge:
1. Jennifer Runyon, who played Gwen the girlfriend in the first 3 seasons, is the same hot blonde in the first few minutes of Ghostbusters. “Do I have it, Dr Venkman?” — the girl doing the ESP test with Billy Murray.
2. In 1987, Charles’ mother, Lillian, is introduced. Lillian is played by Ellen Travolta, John Travolta’s sister. She also plays Scott Baio’s mother in Happy Days, Joanie Loves Chachi, and Charles in Charge.
3. The role of Charles was originally written for Michael J Fox, who was still doing Family Ties.
4. Since 1990, Baio has made appearances in only 4 shows that I’ve ever heard of and made several movies that I don’t think I want to see, most notably something called “Superbabies:Baby Geniuses 2.”
5. James Widdoes, who plays the family dad in the first season, was Hoover in Animal House. It also looks like he’s the only one who has had steady work in the past 15 years.