1. Jennifer Runyon, who played Gwen the girlfriend in the first 3 seasons, is the same hot blonde in the first few minutes of Ghostbusters. “Do I have it, Dr Venkman?” — the girl doing the ESP test with Billy Murray.

2. In 1987, Charles’ mother, Lillian, is introduced. Lillian is played by Ellen Travolta, John Travolta’s sister. She also plays Scott Baio’s mother in Happy Days, Joanie Loves Chachi, and Charles in Charge.

3. The role of Charles was originally written for Michael J Fox, who was still doing Family Ties.

4. Since 1990, Baio has made appearances in only 4 shows that I’ve ever heard of and made several movies that I don’t think I want to see, most notably something called “Superbabies:Baby Geniuses 2.”

5. James Widdoes, who plays the family dad in the first season, was Hoover in Animal House. It also looks like he’s the only one who has had steady work in the past 15 years.

Then you talked about Pinwheel and Today’s Special… Two more of my favorite childhood shows. My TV stuck on Nickelodeon from probably 8 am until about 2 pm every day during the summer months. Oh, and how about “You can’t do that on Television…”

1. Knowing is 1/2 the Battle – Famous line from the G.I. Joe cartoon. The cartoon was great in an of itself but each show ended with a Public Service Announcement-like message. You know the typical stuff. Don’t play with power lines. Don’t talk to strangers. Etc. I still use the line today when someone states “Well now I know.” I usually respond “And knowing is 1/2 the battle”. Now I don’t know what the other 1/2 of the battle is and if it’s like Yogi Beara’s “the game is 90% mental and the other 1/2 is physical” where does the knowing 1/2 fit in. Is the other 1/2 physical, mental, or are you on your own for the other 1/2 and does the other 1/2 just simply take into account ranom events and stupidity. For instance I know not to touch power lines, but what if one falls on my head and I have no control over the situation. Is that the other 1/2 G.I. Joe was talking about? Or, is the other 1/2 just built in error to take into account Survival of the Fittest in the event some dumbass is actually stupid enough to say to themselves, “Oooh pretty lights, let me go touch the power line”. Who knows. But knowing is at least 1/2 the battle. There are tons of these and even some funny parodies out there. Here are a select few examples of how G.I made the world a safer place.

a. Quick Kick loves a plan – He must be Type A OCD like me. I once had someone tell me and I quote, “We don’t need a plan. Plans just confuse people.” To which I responed, “Well, that’s one way to do it.” (For futher explanation see Favorite Sayings.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4W9WDZwDo-w&feature=related

b. Mutt informs us never to pet Hood dawgs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asi64K6MZy4&feature=related

c. Barbeque teaches us to not let out poisonous gases

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF-nlecf1Fg&feature=related

d. Spirit teaches us to roll on the ground in a blanket with an Indian if we catch on fire – Sorry but if I’m this close to a stream when my sleeve catches on fire I’m making a run for it. Plus if I’m camping and an Indian (Feather not Dot) jumps out of the woods I think the piss in my pants may go ahead and put out the fire anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAJk5hOjgD0&feature=related

e. Deep Six teaches us not to swim in a storm – I think this PSA has deeper undertones that God won’t like it if two boys are frolicking in a pond. So don’t same sex bath or God will smoke you. Remember boys and girls. Lightning, its electrifying (So you better shape up cause I need a man.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3OEhoaKqVk&feature=related

f. Scarlett teaches us to never give up – She is truly an inspiration to us all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfyZCucCauQ&feature=related

g. Wild Bill tells us not to take advice or listen to strangers (especially when the are in all Green) – Kind of ironic that we shouldn’t listen to strangers and the intent of the entire G.I. Joe PSA propaganda is taking advice from strangers. Hum?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rs7oXeCZ3Es&feature=related

Sorry but here are a few more things I learned from my early TV addiction.

2. Alien Life Forms (ALF) and I have something in common – ALF was a pretty good show and throughout history it’s been proven that everyone likes a smart ass alien (See Mork & Mindy, Out of this World, 3rd Rock from the Sun, etc.). The coolest thing was his desire to rid the world of cats. Something him and I share. Now I’m not going to eat the cat, but I wouldn’t be upset if they began to disappear. Sorry, but I’m just not a cat person. Give me a stupid, loving dog any day over a cat. Cats are not pets. In some ways they are intellectual equals who I feel are always trying to plot a way to take over the Earth and kill us in our sleep. I don’t need a rival as a pet. I just want something that every time a I see it every day it gets so excited it pees itself. That’s love. Here are some funny ALF bloopers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw_6A5EMxNg&feature=related

3. The people you least suspect always have a drinking/drug problem. – I think this was just a fall back for most writers during the 80s and even into today. The favorited Uncle on Family Ties (Tom Hanks), Jessie on Saved by the Bell (studying is stressful), I think Carol got drunk in one episode of Growing Pains, Tootie had older brother drunk driving issues, and Vanessa & the drinking game on the Cosby show. Who knew that teenagers liked to sneak drinks and do stupid things. Thanks TV for letting me know this at early age so that I now know not to be ashamed of my need to experiment.

a. Tootie’s isues – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSAGA14jizo

b. Vanessa’s drinking problem – I would dring too if my skin was two-tone and I always had to wear long sleeves. This is when I wished I grew up in an all Black household. For some reason I don’t see my mom and dad being so forgiveful and willing to teach me a lesson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePJhK0zchS4

c. Tom Hanks needs to put down the booze and get a job (Preferably not with public TV)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylGC3WTzF8E

d. Jessie’s testing issues – I need them and I’m so excited. This performance should have been foreshadowing to what we were to expect with Showgirls.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljtuGoIIKGs

4. All it takes is one woman to sustain a civilization – I was a big Smurfs fan but this one always threw me for a loop. How could one girl smurf, Smurfette, sustain the entire Smurf clan? Also, how come none of the Smurfs had genetically related problems from the incessant inbreeding. I mean we know Smurfette had no sexually linked recessive genetic disorders or all the guys would have been screwed. The Smurf ovulation cycle must have been once a week to produce that many eggs and gestation must be extremely short. I know she was a wonderful woman but this puts her on a level well above Kate and Michelle Duggar. They are nothing but a bunch of amateurs compared to Smurfette.

5. Black/African American people could be in the show but only at a 1:5 or 1:6ratio – I know the use of Black versus African American is a touchy subject but I think we tip toe around it to make the situation uncomfortable. Deep down I believe when strickly talking about our outer appearance it is a “black & white” issue. People are people. And as ya’ll know by now I divide the masses by stupidity and not color. I have no problem being called pasty white. I am. Therfore I tend to lean on the advice on all the little ones who simply tell you like it is, “He/she is black/white/tan/red/purple/etc.”. Sorry to digress but you can see I’ve been raised in a generation where you always have to explain yourself because people are sensitive and you don’t want to hurt feelings. Like Fight Club predicted, we have all become a bunch of puds.

My 80s and early 90s TV needed minorities as comic relief. We were trying to make an effort so we just needed to throw somebody in. Typically used as comic relief, Alfonso Ribiero was used twice as we were recylcing and did not even know it(Silver Spoon & Fresh Prince). We needed big, sassy black women to keep our snot nose white kids in line (thanks Nell). We eventually dislike each other, but in the perfect TV world learn to love one another as long as we stay in a safe 1:5 ratio. BA Barracus was our tough guy we could relate to because he was a pud when it came to flying. Erkel & Carlton essentially played the white guy in the all black family sitcom (hence the masses could relate). And everyone loves it when the loving white family adopts the poor black chillun’. Unfortunately the white family’s were sold a bad bill of goods because little did they know it wasn’t young black boys they adopted. Instead it was black midgets. We all loved watching the everyday struggles of the black family in America. But, like in true life, we’d rather watch someone like the Cosby’s (more middle class issues, comedy, and still coming on today) versus Good Time (stugglin’ and survivin’, true life issues, comes on every once in a while).

I leave you with one of the greatest TV songs of all time.

2.) Transformers. Okay, a couple of things: The robots can fly – why ever transform into a Jet. The bad guys always transform into the vehicle with way more firepower (something like a tank) while the good guys transform into a Volkswagon Beetle. And lastly, the baddest bad guy, Megatron, transforms into a giant gun that requires another transformer to fire. Does this strike anybody else as a stupid thing to transform into?

3.) G.I. Joe. Scarlett and Lady J formed every like and dislike I have about women. And when thety were all searching for the glowing energy cubes, did anybody find it strange that they looked exactly like the energy cubes that the aforementioned Transformers were looking for?

4.) Animanics, noted without comment.

5.) Garfield and Friends. Made me want to kill myself.

2) I was a Bugs Bunny man. What’s Opera Doc? and the Rabbit of Seville were my favorites. I think that this was likely my first fascination with smart asses.

3) Sam and Ralph, the Sheepdog & Coyote, who clocked in, fought all day, and then clocked out, no hard feelings. I always saw Sam the Sheepdog as a role model. He never seemed to be trying hard, but was always in the right place and meted out justice ruthlessly, with no hard feelings.

4) Starsky and Hutch. The car, the 70’s cop action. I knew I could be Starsky. I even wrote a short story/book, called Berezo and Ray, that was a paen to my cathode ray heroes.

5) Sanford & Son/Chico and the Man – these two came on NBC weekday mornings and I’d watch them during the summer.

There are so many more, I was a TV junkie, like Happy Days, Andy Griffith (only B&W with Barney) and the Rockford Files. Oh and Superstars during the football off-season, that show was awesome.