Tags: Andy Rooney, Dane Cook, Grape Juice, Paris Hilton, Ryan Seacrest, Welch's
List 5
A daily subject for you to List 5 of. Don’t be shy, add your list.
A daily subject for you to List 5 of. Don’t be shy, add your list.
Tags: Andy Rooney, Dane Cook, Grape Juice, Paris Hilton, Ryan Seacrest, Welch's
September 9, 2008 at 11:23 am
1. Sean Hannity – Because he gets paid to brainwash people.
2. Alan Colmes – Because if there was ever anyone who wasn’t a Democrat, it’s him.
3. Sarah Palin – Because she’s a babe.
4. David Sedaris – His shit gets featured in the New Yorker, he even gets to do the fiction podcast. And he’s actually not that good of a writer.
5. Radovan Karadzic – Because I’m still bitter about that whole ethnic cleansing thing.
September 9, 2008 at 1:19 pm
1. Barack Obama – The only change I want to see is his face not being on my television screen every morning. I may as well get this out of the way because I won’t be able to say that without the Secret Service knocking on my door after he is elected president. (God forbid.)
2. Dr. Laura Schlesinger – Single moms shouldn’t date again until their kids are 18 and every really good mother stays at home with her kids until they’re out of high school? Give me a break. Go back to the 1950s and take your June Cleaver heels with you, bitch.
3. Keith Olbermann – Thank God MSNBC took away his anchorship duties. The next step is taking away his ability to breath.
4. Richard Simmons – It’s not so much that I wish he were dead, I just wish he were a little *less* alive. How many diet pills and Red Bull cocktails did you drink this morning, Richie?
5. Larry King – It may be wishful thinking since he seems to be immortal, but the older he gets, the more annoying his voice, and his questions, get. It’s time to let go, Lar.
September 9, 2008 at 2:09 pm
1.) Tom Brady
2.) Bill Belichick
3.) A person in my office who will remain nameless.
4.) Bill Engvall
5.) Tyler Perry
September 9, 2008 at 7:08 pm
1. My old roommate, because she’s a twat
2. One of my ex-friends, who will remain nameless
3. all stupid people
4. My old boss because he was a bitch to my friend
5. This girl named Kayla from my hometown
September 10, 2008 at 12:55 am
For whom would I send a sniper?
1) Vladimir Putin
2) Osama bin Laden
3) Kim Jong Il (could be soon)
4) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
5) Omar Hassan al-Bashir (Sudan)
Sorry for teh lack of fun. It is what I actually studied after all – who we need to kill.
September 10, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Oh and Venezuela’s Chavez.
September 12, 2008 at 6:15 pm
“Sometimes I wish I were dead….oh wait, not me – you.” – Jack Handy
September 14, 2008 at 8:25 pm
1. Bob Costas/Bryant Gumbel – My goal was to stay away from sports figures but I just couldn’t stay away from this egotistical unit. I truly think they are one in the same because I’ve never seem them together. You may still be thinking to yourself that surely they are not the same person but ponder this. We’ve come a long way with make-up. It’s no longer ashy-gray as when Eddie Murphy dressed up as a white man (see this skit — http://www.hulu.com/watch/10356/saturday-night-live-white-like-me) or spray on tan as with C. Thomas Howell in ‘Soul Man’ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFGpQRChhCk). Although you have to admit C. Thomas looks a little Obama-esque so the make-up wasn’t that bad. If you take into account the Tropic Thunder make up for Robert Downey Jr. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pxOzSpUXtg) you have to admit it’s possible for them to be the same annoying person.
I just cannot stand the holier than thou attitude they have towards everything. And it is not one particular incident that I’m upset with, rather it is their entire body of work. Plus, the fact they are the same person. I keep trying to tell myself there must be a logical explanation for their inane stupidity. I thought they may be the robots that Sam Waterson was warning me about (http://www.hulu.com/watch/2340/saturday-night-live-old-glory) or possibly they are ‘The Man”. I just can’t put my finger on it but I just don’t trust them. I think it’s because I can see them eating my Nana’s medicine for fuel.
I realize they are commentators and it is their job to commentate. Unfortunately too many opinions and personal beliefs come through in their commentary. I’m not a violent person but they are two people I would probably kick in the crotch if I ever had the chance to meet them.
2. Scientology Tom Cruise – I don’t mind pre-Scientology Tom Cruise. I’ll be the first to admit I don’t mind watching The Outsiders, All the Right Moves, Top Gun, and heck even Jerry Maguire. He was cool, funny, and most importantly not freakin crazy. I don’t know where along the line his thetans got a little out of whack, but he needs to get those things under control. Every time I see his crazy ass smile and laugh on TV I just want to put a blunt kitchen utensil in my eye. Because, as Lewis Black would say, if I’m going to be in that much pain I want to make sure I’m doing it to myself.
He’s crossed the line from fanatic to just plain crazy. Why does he care what I give my kid to make him sit down and pay attention. If my bipolar/OCD/Anxiety/etc. is acting up today, why shouldn’t I take my medicine. And I know people don’t have to listen to him, but they do. Plus his attitude towards those who are not in line with his thinking rubs me the wrong way. Plus I don’t think he understands that being a Scientologist doesn’t actually make a Scientist. This is my favorite clip to justify my dislike: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc_wjp262RY
I just wish he’d stop being so “glib” and woul be more like non-thetan Tom. This is the only thetan Tom I like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3F2hxa1YCcE
3. Child Abusers – I using the term “people” in it’s plural form as in “those people”. I just don’t understand it and I don’t feel that they deserve the common courtesy of a trial or jail time. We just need to send them to an island and perform sicentific experiments on them so they can at least contrbute to society. I have a child and yes he can get on my nerves and push my buttons but not to the point that it warrants physical or mental abuse.
4. Amy Winehouse – Please just go ahead and OD so we can get this over with and I don’t have to look at your strung out anorexic self again. She has a great voice. Too bad she occassionally gets blood in her cocaine stream. Although I must admit, I do like watching a train wreck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFJm5zZHBnQ&feature=related
If I come up with more I’ll let you know. For the most part I can tolerate most people. I actually like quite a few. The rest of you are simply inconsequential to me.
4.