1. When I got to be Zorro – good thing, too because until this point, I’d only had two costumes: a witch, and tinfoil (I was a baby. My dad wrapped me in it and told everyone I was a left over).
2. When mom and I had “the talk” – Mom: Honey, I think you’re too old to go trick-or-treating this year, but we can still have a party.
   Me: But all my friends who would come to the party will be trick-or-treating.
   Mom:  You’re not everybody else.
   Me: Well, yeah. everybody else probably had this talk NOT two days before halloween.

   That last bit is probably an exaggeration.  As much as my mom hates being the bearer of bad news, she wouldn’t wait until the last minute to tell me, basically, “nobody will ever give you free candy again just because you’re dressed weird.”

3. When Karen and I made a haunted house -  It consisted mostly of black shower curtains taped together and hung in zig-zaggy rows. We put them up in Karen’s basement, and at one entrance we made this chute called ‘the crypt.’  It was a cardboard box we painted black and wrote “crypt” in silver on the sides. Guests were supposed to get in the box, slide down the stairs, and crawl through those fabric and wire collapsible tube things to get to the maze (there was slime and fake spiders and things all along the tube). We dressed in costumes and jumped out and scared people and it was fun. The only really scary thing that happened was when this choad Brock flipped out of the crypt and broke his glasses.  I think he may have cried. Probably. He was a choad.
4. When I went to a dance -  I think I was in the 7th or 8th grade.  it was also the only Halloween where I rented my costume (a court jester). Unfortunately, nobody told me that middle school are the years when girls start using Halloween as an excuse to dress like sluts. I looked cute, but showed absolutely no skin. Probably why the guy I had a crush on was caught making out with Caroline something-or-other in the boy’s bathroom and not me.
5. My nephew’s first this year – My brother’s favorite character is Batman.  His son’s favorite thing is a doggie. Sam buys his son a Batman costume. Sam Jr. thinks Batman is a doggie.  Everybody wins.

What are some of my favorite Halloween memories?

2003 -  I met Karen and Dillon out after leaving work when I was told I would have to come in 4 hours earlier than I had planned. How did I respond? By getting so drunk I couldn’t tell people where I lived, had Josh and Liz come and pick me up at 2 in the morning, threw up on the side of my jeep, threw up blood in a bowl at their place, missed work, and eventually ended up in NY that week. Needless to say that was my last day working that job, and the funny part is that Josh and I worked together at the time. Everyone asked him where I was and he played dumb even though I was passed out drunk on his couch.

2006 – Went with Karen and Dillon to a party at her former employer’s house. Before going I checked with Dillon to make sure that it was a costume party. He assured me that I wouldn’t be the only person dressed up. Two round trick or treat buckets on my feet, solid black clothing and shoes, and my head and arms punched through a white kitchen trashbag made up the bulk of my costume that year; however, my headgear is what really brught everything together. It was a skullcap underneath a softball helmet that had a ziploc bag full of handsoap that would ooze out of one of the openings when I would pull it down on my head. All together it made a pretty convincing broken condom. While I was far from the only person dressed up that night, what Dillon failed to tell me was that this wasn’t an adults only party. Fortunately most of the kids had already left by the time I arrived so I didn’t have to explain that I was dressed as they reason some of them were there.

2007 – Hung out with Theresa and went to several different parties. It was pretty relaxed but extremely fun.

2008 – This year I stayed home.

List 5 Halloween memories of yours.

1. “Did I close my computer?” – I sleep with it in my bed, and often fall asleep with it open. It basically contains my entire life on it so I make sure it’s closed in case it falls off of the bed. How many times have I slept with it open? dozens. how many times has it actually fallen off of the bed? None to date, but paranoia is a gift of mine.
2. “What do I want to listen to?” – My iPod is a staple of my sleep routine especially when sleeping in unfamiliar environments. Being able to put myself in a positive mood makes me much more relaxed as I enter my sweet slumber state.
3. “Did I accomplish everything I wanted today?” – The answer to this question in inevitably no (especially recently when updating this blog was on the list) but that never stops me from evaluating the day’s process. Sometimes I knock off more on my to do list than others, but assessing them at the end of the day allows me to acknowledge my wins no matter how small.
4. “What do I need to do tomorrow?” – As hard as it may be to believe, I don’t keep a daily to do list. What I do is think about the things that I need to remember the next day and just think about it over and over again telling myself to not forget about it. Of course writing it down on a piece of paper would be loads easier, but my life isn’t about easy. I try to make things as difficult as possible because I need things to challenge my awesometicity.
5. “Is my nose going to bleed on that.” – Mostly a recent thought in the past few months since I have begun to have nosebleeds on a regular basis. they have been triggered by my hemmoraging of weight like a hemophiliac hemmorages blood. Waking up with a runny nose that turns out to be a bloody nose is far from my ideal morning, yet it happens.

Chuck Klosterman actually wrote a book about the thoughts he has right before bed if this kind of thing interests you. HIs take on pop culture is worth a look. ist 5 things you think about at night before you fall asleep.

1. Home Bathrooms – In my home growing up my siblings and I didn’t have locks on our doors. I understand the concept and never had an issue with it, yet the lack of privacy left me seeking a refuge where I could be by myself away from everyone else. Fortunately for me the bathroom was just such a place. This was the only spot where I could have complete and total privacy since there was a lock. I probably exploited that fact for all it was worth since I would routinely spend several hours at a time locked in the bathroom. Reading books while sitting on the toilet until my legs went to sleep was where the process usually began. Once I had my fill of reading I would move on to bathing where I’d fall asleep in the tub. Mom and Dad would routinely knock to make sure I hadn’t drowned myself (which was probably closer to happening than I realized). To this day the bathroom of the place I live is where I feel most relaxed, and come up withsome of my best ideas.
2. On the road – Driving is a pretty cathartic activity for me. There are lots of nice places in this country, and lots of great views which are available for viewing if you just drive. By myself or with friends it doesn’t matter. Simply being out on the road on a crisp fall day driving through the Appalachain region of the country is one of my favorite places of all time.
3. Hugs – If you have met me in person, chances are you have been hugged by me. I am without question a huggy person. Call me needy, but I crave physical attention from those I care for, and experiencing a loving embrace with those people takes me to a happy place. If I have to be more specific I would say laying in bed in the arms of someone I love, but only if I have to be more specific.
4. Sports bars – Any place with huge TVs, sports memorabalia, alcohol, and cute women in shorts (think Buffalo Wild Wings not Hooters) is A-OK in my book. What’s not to love? I have spent at least a portion of my birthday celebration in sports bars for the past5 years because they are my favorite place to be. My life was severely thrown off by living in a city in California were there were no real sports bar, and a really shitty bar that was supposed to be a sports bar. Needless to say I moved.
5. Libraries – People tend to not talk to me when I am in the library which generally makes me happy. Reliable wireless connections and access to reading material I might otherwise be hardpressed to find make this a perfect place for me to spend time. I don’t know that it is in my top 5 all time, but it is worthy of inclusion in this list.

List 5 places you enjoy being.

Previous lists have included some of my most played songs so this list will include those songs, but will have additional songs that have not been previously mentioned. This is so you get an accurate reflection of what it is I am listening to, or at least a flash view of my immediate likes. Keep in mind that I have more than 5200 songs in my media player, not to mention many more on CDs I haven’t imported onto my computer.

1. “Little Waltz” by Basia Bulat (194 plays) – Mentioned before on songs you have listened to more than four times in a row.
2. “Goodbye To The Mother & The Cover” by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (115 plays) – More known for their song “Devil Said Dance” this songs made it to the top of the list because it can put me in either a really good mood or a really sad mood depending on how I want to feel. Songs usually just accentuate the feeling that I have at the time I listen to them, but mostly in only one extreme. This is an exception to that rule. I can’t put my finger on why that is, but I have listened to it in my greatest moments of despair and hopelessness, yet it could also be heard when I was on top of the world ready to take on any challenge. Manic swings in my mood may have more to do with this than I would like to admit, but hey. This entry is about music not my mental instability.
   
3. “Crown of Love” by The Arcade Fire (112 Plays) – This is the first of three Arcade Fire songs on this list. If you haven’t heard any of their stuff I wholly suggest you give it a try. “Crown of Love” reminds me of what you’d say to an ex after breaking up with them, then realizing you want them back. My interpretation is probably far from what the songwriter intended, but it makes sense to me so I am sticking with it.
   
4. “No Cars Go” by The Arcade Fire (98 plays) – Initially this song ranked so high because it precedes another one of my favorite songs on the Neon Bible album. As I played it more and more, I realized that I seemed to get excited when hearing it. Excited about what? Who knows. All I know is that by the end of the song I am in the same state of mind as the person singing when he says “Let’s go/I don’t know where we’re going.”
   
5. “Starlight” by Muse (87 plays) – Sometimes I like to be reminded that I need a hug. Who doesn’t?
   
6. “My Body is a Cage” by The Arcade Fire (84 plays) – Of the three Arcade Fire songs this one is my favorite because it speaks to my own battle with self consciousness in both a lyrical and musical sense. Lyrical because he damn mentions it in the song. Musically because I imagine this to be the soundtrack when I am questioning my ability in something. Or just because I like the way it sounds. Take your pick. I believe you’ll be right either way.
   

List 5 songs on your media player with the most plays.

1. “Day, why are you being such a bitch?” - ChristyAll of us have had days where we feel like the entire world is out to get you. This is how I feel on those days.
2. “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” – Winston CurchillBeing a bad ass has always been one of my goals. In a society where we glorify rebellious anti-heroes both on television and in the movies it is only natural to want to be the spaghetti western Clint Eastwood type guy. Accomplishing this goal, however, is far easier said than done. Curchill’s quote epitomizes this feeling (though he was pretty bad ass in real life) and the idea of meeting the being that created you and having that being unable to cope with your awesometicity is a great concept.
3. “Breast dyslexia? I don’t know what it is but it sounds awesome.” – ChadI have absolutely no idea what we were discussing exactly, but he misheard something I said and was convinced I said breast dyslexia. Insightful? No. Hilarious? Yes.
4. “Thieves get rich, saints get shot, and God doesn’t answer prayers a lot.” – Jack Rudolph (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip)A much cooler way of saying life sucks then you die.
5. “I’m not a stupid man, but I’m willing to do stupid things.” – JeffThis quote pretty much sums up my entire existence, especially the college years. One of the things I pride myself on is my ability to use common sense, yet there are times where all rational thought goes out the window. This quote nails this phenomenon perfectly.

Three of my five are quotes were made by people I know personally and another is from a fictional character because I got over my fascination with quotes some time ago. List 5 memorable quotes.

Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

Palin: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

Couric: What, specifically?

Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

Couric: Can you name a few?

Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn’t a foreign country, where it’s kind of suggested, “Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?” Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

While the the content of the answer can’t be disputed, how you interpret this answer often depends on your political leanings. Some say she was trapped by a gotcha question because she couldn’t say certain titles without being painted as an extremist. People on the other side of the argument say that her inability to name specific periodicals was far from a calculated decision, but because she simply didn’t know any. Either way I don’t care, but it did make me wonder about how other people gathered their news. If it is anything like my process then we are in deep trouble:

1. Social Networks – Much to my surprise this is not an entirely bad way to get news. With the proliferation of microblogging on Twitter and Facebook’s status updates, there is very little major news that I don’t miss. Additionally, I get awesome kitten videos and random funy videos from my friends posting to them.
2. The New York Times – Years ago when I was in high school, my favorite teacher had a daily subscription to The Times delivered to the school for us to read. Getting news from the most respected newspaper in America makes me feel smarter than I actually am. Exactly the kind of thing that my giant ego needs.
3. ESPN.ocm – Sports news is still news.
4. al.com – Occasionally I like to know what goes on locally and this website makes the state of Alabama’s largest newspapers all available in one place. There is also a link to the AP wire which is what I used to find stories when I was a reporter.
5. Reuters – Another news wire service that provides a more international opinion on the issues of the day. Some people tend to forget there are views other than ones presented to us by the American media. Hell, I would go out on a limb and say that the majority of Americans don’t even care what is going on in the rest of the world just so long as it doesn’t bother them.

List 5 ways you acquire news other than by watching tv.

1. “Nothing Compares 2 U” performed by Sinead O’Connor – My first exposure to this song was in 1989 when my big sister was in love with this song. With her being so fond of it made an impact on me, though truth be told I never actually listened to the lyrics with a full understanding until I began writing this entry. I’d want this song played because I would hope that a super smart supermodel would be crying hysterically while this song was playing because this is what she thought of me. Still to this day I am moved when I see O’Connor
   
2. “Ne Me Quitte Pas” by Nina Simone – The song is in French, I have no idea what it means even though my aunt France who is from France (seriously) told me, but it remains one of the most moving pieces of art to ever reverberate in my ear. This was the song I (unintentionally) listened to the most when I was grieving over the death of a loved one, and I want it to be the same for me. Just because in my mind it’s the song that is most closely related with grief.
   
3. “The Funeral” by Band of Horses – Before it was in every other commercial, this song was one of my favorites. Look at the title of the song. It says it all right there. This is the perfect song.
   
4. “Chicken Noodle Soup” by DJ Webstar – Because it would make people focus on how ridiculous the song is instead of missing me. Plus I want people to dance.
   
5. “Venus As A Boy” by Bjork – If you can combine two of your favorite things it’s rarely a bad thing (think peanut butter and jelly in the same jar) and this song is no different. With it being included in one of my favorite movies, Leon The Professional, and being performed by one of my favorite artists, Bjork, it just makes sense.
   

List 5 Songs you want played at your funeral.

1. Alabama Football – Despite popular belief, what I do does not actually have any direct bearing on whether or not my favorite football team wins the game. If you are a bit crushed by this realization it’s ok. Take some time to yourself if you need it. How did I come to this conclusion? By weaning myself off of the normal “superstitions” I had for gameday. No longer do I wear the same exact outfit every week. I am slowly but surely changing losing one piece at a time, though my lucky visor is only worn on Saturdays partially because old habits die hard. Mostly because Alabama has yet to lose a game while I have worn it. With the school I attended doing so well (especially against the Black Out/Funeral in Athens) I have been a bit preoccupied with keeping up with every possible article I could find about the team. You are of the same mindset if you understand what I mean by saying “The Dubose Years.” To those who don’t get it college football is like my girlfriend who I only get to see for a few months out of the year, and if we are getting along there is nothing I enjoy more than her company.
2. Enlightening Myself – Thanks to one of my previous lists I was insspired to put down my computer and to pick up a book. I finally finished the Harry Potter series by finishing book 7 after owning it for more than a year. That is a long an convoluted story that is pretty mundane so I won’t bore you with the details. In addition to that I also rewatched the entire Sports Night television series. It is classic Aaron Sorkin writing with a sports related twist. Good show worth checking out if you haven’t already.
3. Because my neighbors are too far away – Sometimes I steal things and I am not ashamed to admit it. One such item is my neighbor’s wireless Internet connection, but here’s the deal. Why would I pay for a connection when I could acquire one at little to zero cost, with the emphasis being on zero. So yeah, my neighbor’s Internet connection has been screwy lately so my Internet connection has been screwy lately. What precious few minutes I have been able to spend online has been spent expanding my reputation as a renaissance man by downloading free porn.
4. Back to basics – Making mix CDs for my friends has been a hobby of mine ever since I first did it to try and impress a girl. Recently this hobby has gone mostly by the wayside due to my excessive video making and writing. I only have enough time for two or three obsessions at once so I made up for lost time and went overboard with finding new music for them to listen to. Hopefully those who get the CDs are satisfied.
5. It’s mental – My mental stability has always been an area of concern for people considering some of the things I have wanted to mount on my walls in the past. Am I sane? Yes, most likely. But that doesn’t mean that I am immune to the horrible disease that plagues myriads of Americans every year. Writer’s block. “Roach, you don’t actually write anything new. All you do is recount stories that have happened to you in the past. What about that would be hindered by writer’s block?” Nothing. I just didn’t feel inspired to write. I do now. That’s why I don’t normally field questions.

Due to the lack of recent content I am going to attempt to have write a bunch of posts and have them auto post several times throughout the day. FJORD!

1. “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens – This is the most boring book I have ever picked up in my life. Labels on the back of bathroom items provide a more engaging read. Seriously. I have read many a cleaner bottle while in the bathroom with no magazines. There is nothing good I can say about this book other than I did well on the test my freshman year of high school. It’s too drawn out for my tastes.
2. “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens – See reasons above. Maybe it’s because I just don’t care for his writing style. By the way, who is it that determines that a book is a “classic” book? Is there a secret commission that meets every few years? What does a contemporary author have to do in order for their work to be considered a classic? Why am I asking rhetorical questions that I won’t ever know the answer to?

That’s it. That’s all I’ve got, though I am looking forward to seeing what books are listed (especially by my friends who are librarians). Pretty anticlimactic. In lieu of listing 3 additional choices I will say that I accidentally left out a book (series really) that is one of my favorites. “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and the subsequent books by Douglas Adams are British comedy gems that I can’t get enough of. Also, I have decided to give my blog a more personal, whimsical feel by including random musings in my posts since I can. Plus it’s a way to entertain myself when I am forcing myself to write (like today). This new section shall be called Nuggets of Knowledge. Anyhow, list 5 works of literature you suggest others should burn.

NUGGET OF KNOWLEDGE:
My great grandmother gave birth to 19 children. Seriously. That is sheer insanity. There was a set of triplets (that died as infants) and two sets of twins (one set died as infants) but other than that they were all one at a time. That blows my mind.