Super powers you wish you had.

August 11, 2008

When you grow up watching cartoons, reading comic books, and seeing movies where the main character has super powers you tend to think about which ones you would want. Do you remember seeing the x-ray vision glasses that were sold on the back of comics? Those pieces of shit weren’t worth the shipping they cost to send them. Why weren’t they sued for false advertising? I was depending on them to help me see girls underwear on the playground. Finally realizing that you will never have the ability to run faster than a speeding locomotive may prove devastating to your young 22 year-old self. Let’s just say I held onto that dream longer than I should have. After looking over the list it occurred to me I’d most likely be a super villain rather than a super hero. Then again, super villain might be a bit harsh. It’s not like I’d try to take over the world, just the local bowling alley. Super prankster. Now there is a more apt description. Here are some more of my top superpowers:

  1. Ability to stop time – Think of how productive you could be if you never had to sleep. This would enable you to stop time, get as much sleep as you wanted, and then start it back while having no actual time elapse. Additionally you could cause all kinds of chaos in the lives of people you don’t particularly care for. It would be pretty sweet to convince an enemy they were losing their mind by making their breakfast disappear everyday.
  2. Teleport – Airports are not fun places to spend downtime and it seems as if there always is some when I fly. Due to high gas prices, higher flying costs, and the fact that travel takes all day teleportation would make life a whole lot easier. One hour commute to work? Not anymore. Plus it would be less of a burden when going on a trip. You could take toiletries larger than the travel sizes, which would be a welcome change.
  3. Lasers from my eyes – I would never be locked out of anything, could boil water lots faster, and win lots of bar bets. “If I can move that glass on the other end of the bar from here without using my hands you pick up my tab.” Like shooting fish in a barrel.
  4. A ring that could turn into anything I wanted – Those of you unfamiliar with the Green Lantern this is the super power he possesses. Other than that he is a pretty normal guy, but that is a pretty big other. Energy rings don’t grow on trees, because if they did I would be lounging around with my ring/green girlfriend.
  5. X-Ray vision – A guy can dream can’t he?

List 5 Super powers you wish you had.


43 Responses to “Super powers you wish you had.”

  1. Will Says:

    1) There’s a book called “The Girl, the Gold Watch and Everything” by John D. MacDonald. You should read it; I think you’d like it.

    2) I’ll get back to you on this one. It’s going to take a while to narrow it down to a Top 5.

  2. Brian Eldridge Says:

    1.) X Ray Vision – I’m still dreaming Roach. I wish I could see through things… And for the obvious reasons… LOL

    2.) Know the Future – I don’t mean like these pscyhics who speak in riddle. I mean being able to tell specifics about the future. Like the powerball numbers or what companies to invest in before they blow up.

    3.) Stopping Time – I’ve wanted to be able to do this since I saw this “made-for-TV” movie back in the 80s. I saw this movie where this woman could stop time. In the end, there was this bomb falling and she stopped time and saved everybody, BUT if she ever started time again, everybody would die. Since then, I’ve wanted to stop time.

    4.) Never get tired – I don’t know if this is a superpower or not, but it would be awesome to never actually get tired. Sure, I love sleeping, so I do want to be able to sleep, but I’d like to sleep only when I want to and not because I have to.

    I don’t know another power. I’ve never wanted to fly or anything like that. Maybe I’ll have another option later.

  3. Jonesy Says:

    1.Flight-Would make the NYC morning commute -so- much easier.

    2.Cold/Ice Powers-No more air conditioning, no more warm beer. Everyone wins.

    3.Water breathing-I love scuba diving. I hate having to spend assloads of money on equipment to engage in that hobby. Water breathing cuts out the whole SCUBA middleman.

    4.Probability Field Manipulation-Come on. A weekend in Vegas where luck doesn’t have any choice but to be on your side? Sign me up.

    5.Invisibility-See #5 in original post

  4. mikeray Says:

    1) Never sleep – It is such a waste of time; I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have to. Like Tolkien Elves.

    2) Longevity – I could probably make something of myself if I had a few extra lifetimes to get it right. Like the Highlander.

    3) The Jedi mind trick – “These are not the droids you’re looking for.” Obviously – like Obi Wan Kenobi.

    4) Talk with animals – I do pretty well with our animals, but if I could communicate directly, it would make life much more interesting. Like Doctor Doolittle.

    5) Some small-scale household magic for doing dishes and laundry – like Samantha on Bewitched.

    I know they’re not earth shattering, but these are the powers I wish for almost every day.

  5. Hayden Says:

    1- Flight. I’ve always wished I could fly. always.

    2- Breathing under water. What little girl doesn’t want to be Ariel?

    3- Teleporting. Kind of Jumper-esque. It’d be a lot easier than any other kind of transportation. Though I suppose it might make my flying abilities kind of pointless. Except for that I like flying..

    4- Invisibility. It’s just cool.

    5- any kind of super mind abilities… like, to just be able to *know* stuff. Kind of like the precognates on Minority Report, only less creepy, and with a little more Prof. Xavier.

  6. Brandon "Coach" Acker Says:

    Dude, I could write a thesis on super powers.

    1. Invulnerability- No more being sick? No more chance of injury? Okay, sign me up for that one.

    2. Flight- You mean I can jump in the air and keep going? Sign me up.

    3. Invisibility- Being able to be places without anyone knowing has obvious advantages.

    4.Super speed- I would like this just to be able to do cool stuff like run so fast I can run over water and stuff. Think Dash from the incredibles.

    5. Slow time- Practical and non-practical uses abound. Many ethical questions though. How did that $50 billion just disappear in a second? Also, the being able to stop/slow time to sleep would be amazing.

  7. Brandon "Coach" Acker Says:

    Another cool one would be to have the power to find whatever you needed for whatever problem in your pocket. Oh crap, too drunk to drive? BAM! Enough cash for a cab ride home. From a few extra bucks to keys to a getaway car or the key to that locked door, the possibilities are endless.

  8. Jason L. Says:

    Let’s just dispense withe the regulars

    1. Flight
    2. Invisibility
    3. Invincibilty
    4. X-ray vision


    5. The ability to speak any language of this universe or any parallel to this one would be sweet. (By the by, does anyone find it odd that everyone who makes it to Earth from Krypton can speak English? I can understand how Superman does it, he was in a fancy ship that taught him all of it via a crystalline computer of some sort. But General Zod and his cohorts were trapped in a freaking mirror. Also note that while they speak English, they read it phonetically. As in, when they run into the astronauts on the moon they read on their uniforms that the humans are from the planet Houston — which they pronounce House-ton. How can you speak English but not know Humans are from the planet Earth? What the hell?)

  9. Ziggy Says:

    1. Anti-stupidy field. Think about how awesome this would be. I could read the newspaper, attend board meetings, or hell, even just drive around anywhere there are people, and eradicate stupidity. This would have been AWESOME to have when I decided to go see “The Hapening.” Basically, I would have posited seeing that flick, but my Anti-stupidity field would have gone off (loudly) and instead I would have done something more interesting, like watching a cat sleep.

    2. Remote Destruction. So there are people I really, really don’t like. For instance, the dude who made “The Happening.” And Sean Hannity. And most Republican operatives. And Jefferson Starship/Airplane. And Carly Simon. Especially Carly freaking Simon.

    I would really like to destroy these people, but let’s face it, I’m a busy guy with limited resources. I just don’t have the time. So if I could just see them on television, close my eyes and concentrate, and then just will them into a violent explosion, that would be awesome. It’s not like I need to see them explode. I just need to know that they’re gone.

    Also useful against anonymous people who screw with you, like spammers, hackers, and politicians.

    Actually, this power may negate the need for my first power, and sounds a lot more gratifying.

    More to follow….

  10. T. J. Says:

    Instead of listing individual superpowers, these are the superheroes whose powers I’d most like to have:
    1) Superman: this is a no-brainer. Super-strength, nigh-invulnerability, super-speed, flight, x-ray vision, heat vision; the ‘man’s got it all.
    2) Jean Grey/Phoenix: Telekinesis and telepathy. I’d like to avoid the pychosis though.
    3) Jesse Custer: The ability to compel anyone to do what you say as if you were God himself would come in very handy. This is limited to people who can understand your language, but I think if I had this power, I could find the time to learn a dozen or so languages.
    4) Wolverine: Mutant healing factor, claws, and an adamantium skeleton. I could drink and smoke as much as I wanted and never have to worry about hangovers or lung cancer, but I wonder if the healing factor would interfere with your ability to get drunk. It would also be really satisfying to be able to pop claws out of your hands that could shred through a Buick.
    5) Batman: No real superpowers, but I could definitely settle for being a billionaire playboy who is a master of hand to hand combat and the world’s greatest detective. Plus all those wonderful toys.

  11. Ziggy Says:

    Cone of Silence. When my kids are whining like mad during a stressful morning of getting ready for work, I lust for the ability to cast Cone of Silence.

    Would also work on Carly Simon.

  12. billy Says:

    This is a tough one because there’s so much to choose from. I know invisibility, freezing time, and flying would be pretty kick ass but I think those are a given. Here are some that are a little off the beaten path.

    1. Poop Money – Preferably “Benjamens” and not Susan B. Anthonys or Sacagaweas. That would be a little painful. I think it would be cool though if everytime I sat down to drop the kids off at the pool when I was done there was a nice roll of Benjamens waiting on me. It would especially be nice since I use the facilities about 2-3 times a day depending on the daily menu. I know this isn’t much of a super power but I liken it to turning water into wine. Not really amazing but pretty cool and useful at the same time.

    2. Change Someone’s Genetic Make-up — I think it would be pretty cool it I could scan someone over and change their genetics. This would be for good of course. I could knock out any precursors for Cancer, crappy genetic diseases, or even branch out someone’s genetic tree so they don’t end up with a mullet and bad overbite.

    3. Jeidi Mind Control – It would be pretty cool to be able to control anyone you wanted to do anything you wanted them to do. This has obvious advantages. I’m pretty persuassive but not quite this good. The thing is this super power is pretty obtainable. I pretty much just have to become a Mormon and call myself the prophet and I’d have the run of any rural sect in the southwestern U.S. The only problem with that is I’m not a big fan of cowboy boots, wranglers, and women in long denim dresses.

    4. The ability to take anyone else’s super powers – I know this is pretty selfish. But in true Malleteer form, if I could just be in the same room as you and leech your powers off of you while you do all the work I’d be happy. Kind of like sitting around at night in the Drawing Room and waiting on someone to order pizza so you could “borrow” just one piece from them. Same goes for bumming smokes in the lobby. I’ll just sit around and let you walk to The Corner and reap the benefits upon your return.

    5. Freezing/Going back in time – It would of course have to be for good and yes I’ve read “A Sound of Thunder” so I know I can’t step on the butterfly. I think of it more along the lines of Quantum Leap where I go back and change things for the good. You know, I’d make Ed Scissum catch the screen pass in 1997, make sure that Bob Bockrath never pissed off Coach Stallings in the locker room in Starkville, and would definately make sure that Mike Shula had a clue. Roll Tide.

  13. 1. Jumping – I just saw the movie “Jumper” and I think that being able to jump from place to place would be so much better than flying – less bugs in your teeth!

    2. Invulnerability – like Superman, it’d be nice to not have to worry about getting sick, twisting your ankle or getting hit by a bus.

    3. Physique – Sure, it’d be nice to be super-strong or super-fast, but which characteristic makes it so you look totally toned and cut year-round, no matter what you eat, without having to go to the gym?

    4. Animal Communication – like the Beastmaster in those 1980s flicks, it’d be awesome to have my own little group of animal familiars that could report back to me using their own skills (I think Dar had an eagle, ferrets and a large cat). Awesome.


    5. The Matrix Download Capability – I know it’s not a technical “super power,” but since it gives the user super-abilities I’m counting it! I’d love to hook up to a computer and download anything I need to my brain: languages, knowledge on how to operate helicopters, or schematics. With a simple download (and my other abilities), I could pretty much do anything! 😉

  14. sylar Says:

    1. Accelerated regenertation- come on have you seen heroes? I want to be like claire and adam monroe, and be able to regenerate up to the point of immortality (like they can) i would be a kick ass army person…

    2. Manipulation of Energy- wow i made this one up but this ones possibilties are endless… think potential energy electric energy, kinetic energy, fire energy gravitaional energy and on on, i think theres more then 20, but anyways i could give my self infinite kinetic and potential energy so i culd lift tons of weight without tiring and kill people by getting there potential energy to 0. he he im likin this one

    3. Teleportaion- this is an obvious

    4. Location of anyone on the planet- I could locate everybody with the power of time and rid of them because the butterfly affect and i can teleport to them he he, rethink your time powers peoples

    5. Manipulation and reading of the mind- I can create illusions and read your mind, dang ur so screwed.

  15. think Says:

    The first and last super power is my favorite.

    1. Transform into a hot girl’s bathroom towel. I think this is better than x-ray vision for this kind of purpose, since you are viewing close up and disguised.

    2. Psychic powers like knowing everything, always succeed, mind control, learn stuff really fast, predicting the future, teleport, etc…

    3. I’m not alive but “dead”, for example a rock. That way I’ll never “die”. This is DIFFERENT from immortality, for immortals are alive, and I’m not. Immortality is often cursed.

    4. Destroy and create universes.

    5. Manipulate reality and bend it to my will. I can do anything with this power, like making money grow on trees, going into another dimension, making sure I’m the only one who has this power, or just having all the super powers in the world.

  16. Matthew Says:

    Here are the powers i would wish to have. But i am not going to list just five of them

    Fire – The ability to manipulate and generate fire.
    Ice – The ability to frezze something or someone
    Telekinesis – The ability to move objects with your mind.
    Green Thumb – The ability to manipulate plants.
    Super Speed – The ability to run very fast.
    Super Strength – The ability to lift very, very, heavy objects.
    Super Stretch – The ability to stretch very far.
    Invisibility – The ability to be unseen.
    Penetrability – The ability to walk through walls.
    Water – The ability to manipulate water.
    Shapeshifting – The ability to look like somebody else.
    Flight – The ability to fly through the air.
    Future Watching – The ability to see the future.
    Animation – The ability to bring in-animate objects to life.
    Time Travel – The ability to go to the past or future.
    Sonic Hearing – The ability to hear far away.
    Electricity – The ability to produce lightning bolts.
    Lazer Beam – The ability to shoot lazers from your eyes.
    Duplication – The ability to make multiples of yourself.
    Telepathy – The ability to read other people’s thoughts
    Transportation – The ability to transport yourself anywhere.
    Animal Transformation – The ability to turn into animals.
    Earth – The ability to make earthquake’s
    Wind – The ability tornadoes, hurricanes ect.
    Body Switching – The ability to swap bodies with another.
    Weather – The ability to control weather

  17. Matthew Says:

    …and Technopathy

  18. Kenny Says:

    “Isn’t walking normal in time while everything else moves slow the same thing as super speed?”

  19. Timothy Says:

    I realy want wolverine powers

  20. Sam Says:

    I would just put it this way.
    1. Manipulate and bend reality. Speaks for itself.
    2. Adaptation. Someone say doomsday.
    3. Invulnerability. Ha.
    4. Alchemy.
    5. Superior physical attributes

  21. samizzle Says:

    my top 5 powers to have (good combination):

    1. Reality warping/manipulating/bending – Do as you please.
    2. Adaptation – Can someone say, Doomsday? Man…die and come back more powerful than before.
    3. Invulnerability – decrease the chances of death due to being hard to kill in the first place.
    4. Teleport – Traveling much easier. Aha.
    5. Remote Time – Play, Pause, Rewind and Fast Forward time – so many different possibilities of usage like Super Speed, etc.

  22. Tara Says:

    I have lots of favorite super powers but these are my favorites:
    1. To have unlimited sight. Kind of like Fablehaven’s Oculus without the going insane part. It would be cool if you could see everywhere from all directions, no-one could lie to you and get away with it, you could never lose anything, everything is open to you, you just have to gaze at it! Probably not the most popular power but It’s certainly my favorite.
    2.Earth: I would be able to create earthquakes, I would be invulnerable on earth, every animal would have to obey me.
    3.Teleportation: BAM you are at school BAM your in China, BAM your in Antarctica, BAM your on the Eiffel tower! Who won’t want that? Traveling is much easier, uses considerably less energy than airplanes and cars :).
    4. Ability to make any kind of force shield. Who wants invulnerability when you can make, rock force shields, invisible force shields, etc.
    5. Fire power: quench flame throw flame manipulate flame and invulnerability to flame. That would be awesome.
    6. Transformation: you could transform into anything from a grain of dust to a leopard. Also you could transform other things.

  23. zacl Says:

    wow for sure remote time and invincible and teleport and evry single power evry1 mentioned

  24. Tamika Says:

    1. water
    2. Flight
    3. ice
    4. invisabilaty
    5. earth

  25. Daniel Says:

    1. Control space & time( Like hiro from heroes but without the constipated look every time ). This power will enable me to stop time and get jiggy with unlimited hot girls.

    2. Invisibility. This will enable me to feel boobies and the girl won’t know it’s me.

    3. Invincibility. This will enable me to chat up girls and withstand the punches from the boyfriends.

    4. Telekinesis. This will enable me to take off girls clothes without even touching them.

    5. Flying. This will enable me to look down girls tops from an awesome angle.

    And to add another few powers for fun…

    6. Hear and control people’s thoughts. This is so I can get girls into bed with a mere thought.

    7. Control electrical things ( like off heroes ). I can go on all the adult sites for free and get hawt girls email addresses.

    8. Shape Shifting. I can change into Angelina Jolie and play with my boobies.

    9. X Ray vision. You put in the effort, and the rewards are obvious 😉

    10. Turn anything into gold. For the financial perspective of life. It’s not all about the girls fellas! LOL

  26. Hamza Dar Says:

    the ability to push things away

  27. Hamza Dar Says:

    the ability to call someone without using your mobile phone

  28. Cameron Frye Says:

    1. Teleportation- then i wouldn’t have to worry about being late for school… i could go there whenever i wanted.

    2. Fire/Ice powers- then i could freeze bullies or melt them. And i wouldn’t have to wait in line… i could freeze the air and walk over everyone. 🙂

    3.I could make “chat logs” in the air and talk to anyone even if i didn’t have my phone with me- That would be awesome!!!

    4.Shape Shift into everything known and unknown- then if someone tried to bully you, you could shape shift into a tiger/lion/cheetah and you could eat them. Although i wouldn’t eat them if i had that power

    5.Light/Darkness- then i could light up my room when its dark or if it’s too bright, i could dim the light. Also i could create a black hole and suck everything into it around me and it directly targets someone that i dislike. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  29. Cameron Frye Says:

    actually… i want every superpower that was listed above this post and more… like that weren’t mentioned… thats every superpower in the world… now THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. Chase Says:

    The ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want, in whatever way I want. I think that covers all my bases.

  31. mik Says:

    1. power of imagination the ability to turn your imagination to reality.

    2. tv-portation the ability to teleport into a tv-show or movie or take out something from a tv-show or movie.

    3. teleportation go wherever i want.

    4. telekinesis move objects with my mind

    5. mind control.

  32. mik Says:

    and the power to change reality with my speech.

  33. tony Says:

    If you have ever seen Heroes then you should know of all the possibilities. But when considering having super powers I think about whether other people have them as well and if the world knows about these powers.if the world knows and there are others like me then I want these powers:

    1. Accelerated regeneration. No more worrying about papercuts.. or gunshot wounds.

    2. Mind control. Being able to control every aspect of a persons mind. Manipulate memories, read thoughts and feelings.

    3. Superpower mimicry. Being able to take on another’s power by touching them. Build up an arsonal of powers without going Sylar on everyone.

    4. Mastery of the Space Time Continuum. Stop time, go backward or forward through it, move to any place at any time. And hope I don’t step on any butterflies.

    5. Technological manipulation. Computers and electronics are everywhere so why not tell them what to do. No more red lights, or paying for pay per view. Hack into the government’s system and make sure they can’t find you.

  34. Gabe Says:

    1.To just have any random thing in a flash. ANYTHING!

    2.Telekinesis. I could move anything like for example, somebody wants to build a house, they call me and pay me like $5,000,000 dollars, it’s done no sweat.

    3.Mind Control. learn anything from anybody.

    4.Revive anything or Kill anything. Lets just say I feel bad when somebody stomps on a bug, so after that person walks away i’d bring it back to life.

    5.Invincibility and Invisibility. Not get hurt and do anything without anybody noticing.

  35. Elena Says:

    I wish I could fly because ever since I was little that’s what I dreamed of doing , I wish that i could be stronger than anyone else so I wouldn’t be scared of anyone, I wish that I could tellaport so it would be alot quicker getting place to place , I wish that I had the power to controlle anything because that would be plain ausome , I wish I had the power to form into anything in the world and have its features like if I were to turn into a dragon I could breath fire or a fish I could breath under water

  36. jeremy Says:

    1. Super speed
    2. Stop and control time
    3. Enhanced reflexes
    4. Teleport anywhere I’ve been to from the past
    5. X-ray vision

  37. Anynomnous Says:

    1.Omnikinesis – The Abiliy to have all kinesis power including bending time space.
    2. Omnimind – The Ability to read minds,talking in minds and control minds.
    3.Omnilingualism – The Ability to know any language including animal language and alien.
    4.Absolute Existence – The ability to control your own existence without any limit.
    5.Omniscience – The ability to know everything and anything infinitly. Infinity Knowledge

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