Memorable quotes.

October 8, 2008

Reader’s Digest was a staple in my household as a child. There always seemed to be a copy around somewhere, but most importantly there were some in the bathroom. All in a Day’s Work and Life in These United States were my favorites for the most part because I love laughing, but eventually I discovered Quotable Quotes. Teenage me thought it would be a good idea to start collecting quotes for the express purpose of inserting them into conversations to make myself look cultured. I went through tons of back issues scouring them for memorable quotes, compiling them into my central location. A marbled mead notebook. This is pretty much where the story ends. None of the quotes were memorized so it kind of defeated the initial purpose of having them, few, if any, were used in actual conversation, and a grand total of zero made this list:

  1. “Day, why are you being such a bitch?” – ChristyAll of us have had days where we feel like the entire world is out to get you. This is how I feel on those days.
  2. “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” – Winston CurchillBeing a bad ass has always been one of my goals. In a society where we glorify rebellious anti-heroes both on television and in the movies it is only natural to want to be the spaghetti western Clint Eastwood type guy. Accomplishing this goal, however, is far easier said than done. Curchill’s quote epitomizes this feeling (though he was pretty bad ass in real life) and the idea of meeting the being that created you and having that being unable to cope with your awesometicity is a great concept.
  3. “Breast dyslexia? I don’t know what it is but it sounds awesome.” – ChadI have absolutely no idea what we were discussing exactly, but he misheard something I said and was convinced I said breast dyslexia. Insightful? No. Hilarious? Yes.
  4. “Thieves get rich, saints get shot, and God doesn’t answer prayers a lot.” – Jack Rudolph (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip)A much cooler way of saying life sucks then you die.
  5. “I’m not a stupid man, but I’m willing to do stupid things.” – JeffThis quote pretty much sums up my entire existence, especially the college years. One of the things I pride myself on is my ability to use common sense, yet there are times where all rational thought goes out the window. This quote nails this phenomenon perfectly.

Three of my five are quotes were made by people I know personally and another is from a fictional character because I got over my fascination with quotes some time ago. List 5 memorable quotes.


8 Responses to “Memorable quotes.”

  1. Brian Eldridge Says:

    Most of these are random quotes from Family Guy, because that’s mostly what I quote these days. LOL

    1.) Blast! – Stewie, the baby, says this regularly. Mostly because he’s frustrated when people spoil his plans to take out his mother and rule the world.

    2.) Ooh Noooo…. – Bruce from Family Guy is my most recent favorite Family Guy character. He’s clearly got homosexual tendancies… (not that there is anything wrong with that) It’s just the way he talks, it’s unexplainable… I jokingly say this when something that I don’t want to happen, happens.

    3.) Get your fat ass back here! – Mr. Herbert also a gay guy and pedophyle is an old man from the Griffin’s neighborhood. He really likes Chris, the portly son of Peter Griffin. Chris is completely oblivious of this attraction. He just thinks the guy is a friendly old man. One episode, Chris ignores Herbert’s advances and walks away, and Herbert utters, “Get your fat ass back here…” I tend to say that now when something that I want doesn’t come my way.

    4.) How do you know my language? – Mayor Adam West is the mayor of Quahog RI, the home of the Griffins. One day, Meg, the daughter of Peter and Lois walks into the mayor’s office and says, “Hello Mayor West…” And he turns to her in amazement and asks, “How do you know my language?” They are both speaking English, so it’s not like he was speaking Swahili or something. Adam West is completely insane, though. That’s part of why it’s funny. I tend to say this now when I’m confused.

    5.) Let’s get a kitty! – When Brian, the Griffin family dog, decided to leave the family, Peter said they should get a new pet to replace Brian. Stewie was extremely excited about this prospect. And while sitting on the floor, he began to bounce up and down with excitement and said, “Let’s get a kitty!” So now this is my joking phrase of excitement…

  2. Wes a.k.a BlocksTheSun Says:

    From the top of my head, in no particular order.

    1.) “Chance favors the prepared mind.” -Louis Pasteur

    Most likely the first quote I ever really took meaning from and a man that I came across in my studies many times.

    2.) “All glory is fleeting.” -George Patton (though I am sure it is an ancient saying)

    Keeps me humble during those rare times when I find some.

    3.) “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.”

    Not sure where I heard this or who said it, but it is hilarious and so true.

    4.) “I’ll ride the wave where is takes me…” -Line from Pearl Jam’s “Release”

    My favorite band and a great line. Reminds me of how little we actually control in life.

    5.) “That’s for cleaning the ole Scrog.” -my brother, Jason

    About age 14. In reference to a box of douche. I could have gone with something more philisophical, but I doubt something has ever struck me so funny in my life. Maybe you had to be there.

  3. mikeray Says:

    I’ve never gotten over quotes:

    1) Decide what you become, and then do what you have to do.
    – Epictetus, a Roman Stoic Philosopher

    2) Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
    – Theodore Roosevelt, the manliest 20th-Century U.S. President.

    3) Luck is the residue of design.
    – Branch Rickey, pro baseball executive
    (Neither he nor I believe in it).

    4) It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg. -Thomas Jefferson
    (Could it be any clearer that that?)

    5) Sometimes you just have to pull the worm out of the cat’s butt. – Me, lecturing on stepping up and doing the distasteful, disgusting, but necessary work of getting things done.

  4. Brandon "Coach" Acker Says:

    1. “When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is hard to remember you initially wanted to drain the swamp.”
    Don’t know who said it, but it helps me remember to stay focused on the end result of your work and not get distracted by the tough stuff.

    2. “It is amazing how much money I have spent fucking up my life.”
    First place I ever saw this was on Big Wes’ wall. Truer words have never been found.

    3. “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.”
    Nathaniel Hale was spying on the British forces that had landed in NYC at the start of the American Revolution. This was what he said right before the British hung him.

    4. “Motion creates emotion.” -My Dad. He said this to me because i was in a bit of a rut and bored with life. This got me thinking and is actually one of the truest statements I have ever come across.

    5. The Girls=Evil equation. I don’t remember how exactly this thing goes, but again, it is something i came across hanging around Big Wes’ room. Funny stuff.

  5. Katy Says:

    1) The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
    ~ Ben Stein

    2) The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
    ~ Mark Twain

    3) Life is a long lesson in humility.
    ~ James M. Barrie

    4) I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it ‘content.’
    ~ Lauren Bacall

    5) Americans are far more remarkable than we give ourselves credit for. We’ve been so busy damning ourselves for years. We’ve done it all, and yet we don’t take credit for it.
    ~ Ray Bradbury

  6. Lindsey Says:

    Like some of those intrepid List5ers before me, I’m a cartoon and movie quoter. It’s amazing how often the opportunity to use some ridiculous lines comes up! Sadly, I have more than 5 great quotes, so I’m compromising with listing 6.

    1. “GIMME BACK MY PURSE!” -Bobby Hill, King of the Hill
    2. “Eduardo like potatoes.” – Eduardo, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends
    3. “Tina! Eat your food!” – Napoleon, Napoleon Dynamite
    4. “grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr- rrrrrrrr!” (car noises)- Birdgirl, Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law
    5. “Everybody loves them Doobie Brothers.” -Granny, Squidbillies
    6. “There’s never a bad time for pudding!” -Capt. Murphy, Sealab 2021

  7. bess Says:

    1. My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here. – Jim Henson

    2. That’s a huge bitch! – Said by some character in Deuce Bigalow. This one is especially memorable because I saw it with Roach and his laugh is ridiculously contagious.

    3. Your chances of getting struck by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky and say “Storms suck!” – Johnny Carson

    4. A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.- Kurt Vonnegut

    5. Benjamin is nobody’s friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he’d be pralines and dick. – Garth Algar

  8. billy Says:

    1. “Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda

    This pretty well somes it up for me. You either do it or not. It’s nobody else’s fault but your own. It also leads me to some of my other favorite quotes that hit on the same topic.

    “The same things win, that always won… And we just have a different bunch of excuses if we lose.”

    This can pretty much be used in any walk of life. It doesn’t matter if you relate it to work or every day life. If your job is to be a dad, garbage man, or President than have the gumption to be the best dad, garbage man, or President ever. Don’t “try” at it or give me excuses about what is getting in your way.

    This leads me to my last somewhat related quote.

    “It is what it is”. No matter what when you get down to the core of the issue it simply is what it is. You can try to tell me differently or skew the truth in a way to make it more favorable but it simply is what it is.

    2. “If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it.”

    I think this works best when being in a leadership type role. A leader needs to be strong enough to take the blame and none of the praise and still realize that he/she is doing there job. Compliments are nice and constructive criticism is necessary, but to lead in any situation you need to be a big enough person to take none of the credit and all the criticism.

    3. “Science is one cold hearted bitch with a 14 inch strap-on.”
    I’m a big fan of Dexter and this is perhaps my favorite quote. It’s from the most recent episode and they are discussing science vs opinion. Essentially, it’s trying to point out that science is usually right. You can argue your opinion but in the end (pun intended) the facts of science are going to kick you in the crotch.

    4. “If God didn’t want us to eat animals, he would not have made them out of meat”

    Dave Grohl in an interview during the ealy Foo days. I use it quite often whenever I encounter a vegetarian. Of course this typically leads to a conversation discussing the existence of God and religion so my insult regarding their non-meat eating lifestyle is long forgotten.

    5. “You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit.”

    I know this is borderline excuse making but it is one of my favorite ways to explain why the pieces and parts of a puzzle are just as important as the final overall product.

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