Halloween memories.

December 17, 2008

What month is this? Well hell, it seems as if my college football addiction has led to me neglecting lists. What’s sad about it is the fact that I actually outsourced this entry and STILL am only just posting it. That’s what happens when the one team I root for above all others is doing better than they have in my adult lifetime. Enough football talk here is a list Bess came up with:

  1. When I got to be Zorro – good thing, too because until this point, I’d only had two costumes: a witch, and tinfoil (I was a baby. My dad wrapped me in it and told everyone I was a left over).
  2. When mom and I had “the talk” – Mom: Honey, I think you’re too old to go trick-or-treating this year, but we can still have a party.
    Me: But all my friends who would come to the party will be trick-or-treating.
    Mom:  You’re not everybody else.
    Me: Well, yeah. everybody else probably had this talk NOT two days before halloween.

    That last bit is probably an exaggeration.  As much as my mom hates being the bearer of bad news, she wouldn’t wait until the last minute to tell me, basically, “nobody will ever give you free candy again just because you’re dressed weird.”

  3. When Karen and I made a haunted house –  It consisted mostly of black shower curtains taped together and hung in zig-zaggy rows. We put them up in Karen’s basement, and at one entrance we made this chute called ‘the crypt.’  It was a cardboard box we painted black and wrote “crypt” in silver on the sides. Guests were supposed to get in the box, slide down the stairs, and crawl through those fabric and wire collapsible tube things to get to the maze (there was slime and fake spiders and things all along the tube). We dressed in costumes and jumped out and scared people and it was fun. The only really scary thing that happened was when this choad Brock flipped out of the crypt and broke his glasses.  I think he may have cried. Probably. He was a choad.
  4. When I went to a dance –  I think I was in the 7th or 8th grade.  it was also the only Halloween where I rented my costume (a court jester). Unfortunately, nobody told me that middle school are the years when girls start using Halloween as an excuse to dress like sluts. I looked cute, but showed absolutely no skin. Probably why the guy I had a crush on was caught making out with Caroline something-or-other in the boy’s bathroom and not me.
  5. My nephew’s first this year – My brother’s favorite character is Batman.  His son’s favorite thing is a doggie. Sam buys his son a Batman costume. Sam Jr. thinks Batman is a doggie.  Everybody wins.

What are some of my favorite Halloween memories?

2003 –  I met Karen and Dillon out after leaving work when I was told I would have to come in 4 hours earlier than I had planned. How did I respond? By getting so drunk I couldn’t tell people where I lived, had Josh and Liz come and pick me up at 2 in the morning, threw up on the side of my jeep, threw up blood in a bowl at their place, missed work, and eventually ended up in NY that week. Needless to say that was my last day working that job, and the funny part is that Josh and I worked together at the time. Everyone asked him where I was and he played dumb even though I was passed out drunk on his couch.

2006 – Went with Karen and Dillon to a party at her former employer’s house. Before going I checked with Dillon to make sure that it was a costume party. He assured me that I wouldn’t be the only person dressed up. Two round trick or treat buckets on my feet, solid black clothing and shoes, and my head and arms punched through a white kitchen trashbag made up the bulk of my costume that year; however, my headgear is what really brught everything together. It was a skullcap underneath a softball helmet that had a ziploc bag full of handsoap that would ooze out of one of the openings when I would pull it down on my head. All together it made a pretty convincing broken condom. While I was far from the only person dressed up that night, what Dillon failed to tell me was that this wasn’t an adults only party. Fortunately most of the kids had already left by the time I arrived so I didn’t have to explain that I was dressed as they reason some of them were there.

2007 – Hung out with Theresa and went to several different parties. It was pretty relaxed but extremely fun.

2008 – This year I stayed home.

List 5 Halloween memories of yours.


5 Responses to “Halloween memories.”

  1. davisw Says:

    I too was a Zorro, but not just on Halloween. My mom made a black cape with a Z on the back (not how it looked on TV but otherwise you wouldn’t get the idea). Love your choice of tags, by the way … vomit, Zorro and condoms — don’t see that combination every day

  2. Chassi Says:

    Halloween is my favorite ever, so this might be hard.

    1. That time I got engaged. That was a good one. Halloween 2008. Derrick and I threw our second annual Halloween party, in Cullman this time. I was a busy, stressed-out, nervous wreck getting everything ready, but somehow a diamond ring and a pumpkin with “Marry Me?” on it soothes that. Other than that incident, Halloween itself was great, too. I was Harley Quinn, so it’s hard for things to go wrong when your costume is that awesome. Derrick was Captain America, and we had a Two-Face, a Joker, a Batman, and Red Skull in attendance. Great party, great times. The next day, we both got to be in a haunted house, scaring people. What can be better than that?

    2. That time I saw Nine Inch Nails. Halloween 2005, Nashville, on the heels of the release of With Teeth. Derrick and I had general admission tickets, and we sat outside the arena from noon until 8p.m. dressed as a zombie and Batgirl, respectively. We wound up a few feet from the stage, and the concert was amazing. The eight hours outside weren’t too bad, either. It was cold, but we saw some great costumes and some crazy people.

    3. That time Derrick and I thought we could fit my entire family in our house. Halloween 2007. As Mario and Princess Peach, we hosted our first Halloween party here in Florence. We just invited my family, to scale it down a bit, but my family just so happens to be gigantic. We had a great time, with food and Halloween games for the kids, and a particularly heart-wrenching (and improvised) performance by yours truly about a dead friend whom I had dug up. We learned that we could, in fact, pull off a decent Halloween party, but that we needed more room and our guests needed to not have to drive an hour and a half. Thus, the Cullman party in ’08.

    4. That time we had a scavenger hunt. When I was younger, my mom was possibly even crazier than she is now. Hard to fathom, but try. One Halloween (if I tried to guess the year, it would be incredibly wrong, but let’s estimate that it was around 10 years ago), she organized a scavenger hunt for our entire extended family. There were clues placed all around Cullman, and a treasure chest of money and other prizes at the end. The extended family (in costumes) met and divided up into several teams. Dillon and I (dressed as Star Trek characters, I believe — I was Dax from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) teamed up with the Hoods (which sounds like a terrible group of thugs, and kind of is, but I just mean the Hood family). We drove all around the city getting clues that led us further, and wound up losing in the end because our cousin Debbie “accidentally” skipped several clues. Oh well.

    5. That time I was Spice Girl. Halloween 1998 or 1999, probably. I was about 12. This is one of my favorites only because of how ridiculous and awesome I looked. I’m not sure why mom let me leave the house, but at any rate — I was wearing brown leather booths that came past my shins, a horrid green suede mini skirt, and a sleeveless HALF SHIRT (YES. Half. Shirt.) that I had written “SPICE” or “GIRL POWER” or some BS on with magic markers. If I remember correctly, I had drawn on tattoos, also. There’s a picture somewhere. That was a great Halloween. I was excited, but all of the family members’ houses we went to made me feel like I was too old to be dressed up. Whatever. They should see me on Halloween now.

  3. Angela E. Says:

    1. When I was a kid, buying a halloween costume was truly an unheard of thing. I am not real sure if actual pre-made costumes didn’t really exist or if we were just too poor to ever dive into that luxury. Regardless, if we wanted to dress up for Halloween we had to get really creative with our costumes. Seeing as how I generally lack creativity, I am pretty sure that almost every single year of my childhood I went as some sort of random punk rocker chick. The costume generally involved some sort of pink or purple spray color in my hair, ridiculous amounts of makeup, any jewelry I could find in the house, and random skin tight and tacky clothing. I was hot before I knew what hot was :).

    2. The very first time I ever played spin the bottle was at a Halloween party that me and a friend of mine threw at my house when I was 13. Mind you, I had never kissed a boy with open mouth… and only with closed mouth like twice. I was terrified to say the least. I think that there were three boys and three girls playing – and if I reflect hard enough I totally relive that feeling where I thought that my stomach was going to explode into my throat and my heart feeling like it would beat right out of my chest. I was scared to death that I would have to experience my first real kiss via public humiliation rather than some romantic moment where prince charming came and swept me off my feet. Somehow that night I got away with only giving small pecks for kisses. Nevertheless, I still remember as if it were yesterday how terrified I was. (On a sidenote, I should mention that my first kiss came a few months later… and it was NOT a prince charming kind of a moment!)

    3. In my adult life I still tend to get creative with costumes. I generally go for the funny genre… maybe with a splash of sexy. Never is my costume scary or over the top slutty. It generally does, however, heed giggles from other partygoers. One of my favorites is my Dolly Parton “costume” that I must admit I have done twice in my life now. This costume is a fine mixture of funny and slutty… only because of the sex appeal of the giant blonde wig… and the massive amount of cleavage coming out of my shirt. I definitely have some fond Halloween memories with me and Dolly!

    4. This last year, I was so busy around Halloween that I just couldn’t seem to wrap my mind around a costume. I literally went to the store 30 minutes before the party began and bought the makings of my costume… and I have to admit that it was quite clever. I bought balloons, streamers, confetti, and party invitations, which were all attached to/coming out of my pants. It was a Party in my Pants… and EVERYONE was invited! Muah ha ha ha.

    5. Last year my precious child decided that she wanted to be Pocahontas for Halloween, but when we went to check out costumes she didn’t seem to find any that she thought really looked like her in the Disney movie. So after many unsuccessful searches, I finally decided that I could just sew a costume for her. How hard could it be? Mind you… I refuse to sew even a button onto a shirt. Should the moment arise that I ever need a needle and thread for ANYTHING I either pay someone else to do it or I just throw it away. Seriously. And I was going to make a costume. With no pattern. By hand. So we go and pick out fabric and sketched out what this dress would look like and I went to work on it. I sewed for weeks and weeks and it turned out quite nice… until Halloween day when it occured to me that I had never finished the bottom of the dress. This part we were not sewing… we were just going to cut jagged edges into the fabric mid thigh or knee length. So in a hurry, I held it up to her to gauge the length and then started slicing. When my handiwork was done, I put the dress over her head. It looked amazing. EXCEPT that I cut it entirely too short and it BARELY covered her tiny little tush. She wore the dress trick or treating… but to this day reminds me constantly about the time that I F’ed up her Pocahontas costume. Way to go, mom! 🙂

  4. poobie Says:

    1. one year at mallet, about two years before you started college, we rented the ivory tusk for a balls-out real halloween party. Shane got to the party and decided he needed to poop, but didn’t want to use the (nasty) toilet in the back room of the tusk, so he started back toward mallet. about a half block from the bar, he realized he need to poop _urgently_, so he stopped in the alley behind the strip, dropped trou and shat like a king, right there in the road.

    2. I won the costume contest at good ol’ WJC one year by dressing as an obese mustachioed man. raincoat, stuffed with a pillow. easiest costume evar.

    3. Dressed as the unabomber for another mallet party. halfway through, a half a dozen other guys went upstairs, put on suits and sunglasses, and “arrested” me. good party, that one.

    4. Sarah’s Uhura costume. absolutely adorable, but she made it so short she couldn’t bend more than about 10 degrees at the waist. watching her try to move around in that thing was funny.

    5. Phil Chin’s string of ridiculous costumes were all great. favorites were the year he dressed as a coolie, and the time he made a pair of overalls out of an empty budweiser case.

    Also, Ashanti Roach does, in fact, lick the butt. when you coming home, fartknocker? Do I have to bribe you with BBQ and football tickets?

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