Memorable quotes.

Reader’s Digest was a staple in my household as a child. There always seemed to be a copy around somewhere, but most importantly there were some in the bathroom. All in a Day’s Work and Life in These United States were my favorites for the most part because I love laughing, but eventually I discovered Quotable Quotes. Teenage me thought it would be a good idea to start collecting quotes for the express purpose of inserting them into conversations to make myself look cultured. I went through tons of back issues scouring them for memorable quotes, compiling them into my central location. A marbled mead notebook. This is pretty much where the story ends. None of the quotes were memorized so it kind of defeated the initial purpose of having them, few, if any, were used in actual conversation, and a grand total of zero made this list:

Ways you acquire news other than by watching tv.

Much has been made about this exchange between Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and CBS anchor Katie Couric.

Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

Palin: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

Couric: What, specifically?

Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

Couric: Can you name a few?

Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn’t a foreign country, where it’s kind of suggested, “Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?” Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

While the the content of the answer can’t be disputed, how you interpret this answer often depends on your political leanings. Some say she was trapped by a gotcha question because she couldn’t say certain titles without being painted as an extremist. People on the other side of the argument say that her inability to name specific periodicals was far from a calculated decision, but because she simply didn’t know any. Either way I don’t care, but it did make me wonder about how other people gathered their news. If it is anything like my process then we are in deep trouble:

Songs you want played at your funeral.

Hopefully this event will take place later rather than sooner, but in my opinion it is never too early to start planning. Who am I kidding? Anyone who knows me personally knows that planning is pretty much my kryptonite. It saps all of my energy and is an effort in futility when I am the one doing the planning. In any event, some of the songs I want played have been in other lists so I won’t include them in the five, but they are definitely worth noting. “Spiritual” by Johnny Cash (things you want to experience before dying) would be at the top of this list because it just sounds like an appropriate song to play in that circumstance, “Bold as Love” by Jimi Hendrix would be appropriate because it’s my favorite song, and Justin Timberlake’s “Sexyback” (songs I have listened to more than four times in a row) and Soulja Boy’s “Crank That” (guiltiest guilty pleasures) make the list because people need to be dancing and having fun as well. Enough of what’s not on the list, here are the songs that made it:

Lists you’d like to see.

For three months I have been listing things that come to mind and I have more than 100 topics that lie in waiting. Even so, I am interested in knowing what suggestions you have for possible future lists. List them here. If I like it I’ll turn it into a list, and put your list on the front page instead of in the comments (fancy). So List 5 lists you’d like to see.

Works of literature you suggest others burn.

Who knew that you guys loved to read so much? I think it’s very telling that there are people I am friends with through different areas of my life who enjoy reading the same stuff. It’s as if I like hanging out with a certain type. Preposterous. While I will be making my way though those books post haste, there is a flipside to the literary discussion. There are certain books you’ve read that you simply hated and wish you hadn’t. As previously stated, most of my reading is on books where I’m trying to teach myself a marketable skill, plus I rarely finish a book I don’t enjoy. So this will be my first list where I won’t actually have 5 things:

1. “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens – This is the most boring book I have ever picked up in my life. Labels on the back of bathroom items provide a more engaging read. Seriously. I have read many a cleaner bottle while in the bathroom with no magazines. There is nothing good I can say about this book other than I did well on the test my freshman year of high school. It’s too drawn out for my tastes.
2. “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens – See reasons above. Maybe it’s because I just don’t care for his writing style. By the way, who is it that determines that a book is a “classic” book? Is there a secret commission that meets every few years? What does a contemporary author have to do in order for their work to be considered a classic? Why am I asking rhetorical questions that I won’t ever know the answer to?

That’s it. That’s all I’ve got, though I am looking forward to seeing what books are listed (especially by my friends who are librarians). Pretty anticlimactic. In lieu of listing 3 additional choices I will say that I accidentally left out a book (series really) that is one of my favorites. “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and the subsequent books by Douglas Adams are British comedy gems that I can’t get enough of. Also, I have decided to give my blog a more personal, whimsical feel by including random musings in my posts since I can. Plus it’s a way to entertain myself when I am forcing myself to write (like today). This new section shall be called Nuggets of Knowledge. Anyhow, list 5 works of literature you suggest others should burn.

NUGGET OF KNOWLEDGE:
My great grandmother gave birth to 19 children. Seriously. That is sheer insanity. There was a set of triplets (that died as infants) and two sets of twins (one set died as infants) but other than that they were all one at a time. That blows my mind.

Ways other people irritate you in public.

No lead in this time just the list inspired by being around other jackasses in public:

Things that never fail to cheer you up.

Depression seems to be a common theme amongst my plethora of (unstable) friends. Inevitably I know someone who is going through a rough patch either because they aren’t on meds, they forgot to take their meds, or they ran out of their meds. Yours truly is no exception to this rule, and I regularly deal with the unfortunate affliction that is depression. Today I was reminded of a song by New Buffalo. “Cheer Me Up Thank You” is a good poppy tune that puts me in a lighthearted mood, but it got me thinking about the things that are able to physically and psychologically cheer me up:

Works of literature you suggest others read.

In my list of things that will make me judge you even if they shouldn’t I left out something that was thankfully brought to my attention by several commenters. Few things irritate me more than when people unabashedly admit that they don’t read. Now I am not talking about someone saying they don’t have time to read as much as they would like, but I mean the people who look you square in the eyes, and almost wear their ignorance as a badge of courage. “I don’t read books!” Really? Well first, that’s just sad and I am afraid that you will no longer be welcome in my presence, secondly what would possess any adult to openly say that in public? Do you think that I’ll be so mesmerized by your dumbassery that I will overlook any other character flaws you may have? In no way do I consider myself to be the ultimate authority on what is and isn’t good literature since I read the equivalent of a top 40 radio station. However, I do recognize that reading is fundamental as the PSAs so graciously told us. Plus books make for good conversation starters when you are in certain social situations (think Christmas party with the neighbors who don’t drink).

When my niece was 9 years old she told me that she didn’t like to read and I forbade her from ever saying it again. My reason was that even if it’s something you don’t enjoy doing, don’t tell people that because it will just make you look stupid. With that said, I am not the most avid reader of books. Most of the ones I read have to do with something I am trying to accomplish. Examples include several books on web design, books on graphic design, and books that deal with mastering different techniques in different computer programs I am teaching myself. Not much of my time is spent reading books for pure enjoyment. On the Road by Jack Kerouac was the last book I started reading for my enjoyment, and it’s proven difficult for me to read because it is on my computer rather than a hard copy. When I am on my computer my mind tends to wander and I try to do multiple things at once. What was this post about? Oh yeah, books I suggest you read:

Fashion trends from the 80/90’s you’re glad are back.

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Things that will make me judge you even if they shouldn’t.

In my mind I like to believe that I’m a beacon of hope in this ever expanding sea of intolerance and tumult. Judging people based solely on their aptitude rather that some preconceived notion instilled in me from an early age. Then again, this is the same mind that considers the Hills to be must see TV and has Ramona Quimby Age 8 in the list of top literary works of all time (list forthcoming), so it is obviously a bit off. Just like everyone does, whether they admit it or not, when I find out certain things about you my immediate impression is altered. Depending on how those personal preferences line up with mine, this could be extremely good or extremely bad. This is an unfortunate fault of mine because it’s harder for someone to emerge from under my cloud of suspicion (even if worthy) once I find out certain things regardless of how long I have known them. There are people I’ve known for years who make statements that make me question my friendship with them. Is this wrong? Yes, but at least I can recognize my own bias and am attempting to change it. So here are a few things that I have judged you for if you have exposed them to me: